Saturday, June 22, 2013
Growing up I experienced a lot of horrible and terrifying things. I still cannot wrap my head around most of it . I experienced molestation and violence. One of my earliest memories is a loaded shot gun in my 8 year old face. I have never experienced fear like that before or since. I know real hunger to the point you feel like you will pass out.I also what it is like to binge eat to the point of sickness because if you don't one of two things will happen. someone else will eat it or the bugs will get to it. I hated eating after I saw the bugs. So when I had the chance to eat clean food I did and I ate a lot of it. I have no doubt in my mind that this is a major part of my weight problems and my moments of uncontrollable binge eating. I started my journey at 220 pounds I am so far down to 185. I still have moments where I panic when Im not over the top full. Those are the times I need to remind myself. Life is different now I have money, food and a home a REAL home not just a roof. Those people do not control me anymore they do not get to decide who I am or how I feel about me. I can do this and so can you.