The downside to having been fat your whole life (and having tried to lose weight a thousand times) is that no one takes you seriously when you are actually being successful. I have kept my Weight Watchers from all of my friends because they have all been there through my thousands of attempts of losing weight where I have failed miserably. Now that I am actually being successful (down 23 lbs, I consider that a success) I am starting to branch out and tell some of my friends. I started with telling a cousin who has always had a weight problem as I have and I knew would understand and appreciate how hard I have worked. Next I decided to tell my best friend from high school. She has seen me yo-yo diet for years. She has seen me excited about losing 5 lbs and cry when I put 10 more back on. I thought she would be more excited for me. It actually kind of hurt my feelings when she didn't seem to care. In my mind I feel like she thinks I am crying wolf. Its like she thinks I am saying "I'm losing weight, I am losing weight" just like old times and she doesn't want to get excited for when I fail. I know and hope that this isn't the case, but it is the vibe I am getting.
I love the people who are in my life - I know that I have let them down in the past, but this is a new chapter in my life. I am done being fat - I'm done fearing for my life - I'm done with shortness of breath and chest pains... To everyone who I have told and asked to support me before when I didn't truly mean it, I apologize. To everyone who is supporting me now, thank you. Support is an amazing motivator. Knowing I can come on here and talk to people who know what I feel like, know what I'm going through, and support me in my journey to free the skinny person inside of me - has been a huge help and motivation. Knowing I'm not alone in this is what has kept me strong - even when I have been plateaued the past few weeks, the fact that I haven't sky rocketed up has been amazing.
Thank you to all my my spark people friends and fellow journey takers.