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Late Nite...

Saturday, June 22, 2013

President Obama's approval rating has dropped eight points over the past month, down to 45 percent, his lowest rating in more than a year and a half. But Obama is vowing to find out whose approval he's lost, track them down using their email and phone records, and personally win them back. -Jay Leno

The latest search for Jimmy Hoffa has been called off. The FBI now says they called off the search because the NSA said it would be too difficult to find Jimmy Hoffa because he hasn't made a phone call since 1975. -Jay Leno

President Obama is in Berlin, Germany. It was 97 degrees in Berlin today. I haven't seen Obama sweat like that since, well, yesterday. And the day before that. All this week, in fact. -Craig Ferguson

A new survey found that 70 percent of Americans admit to 'going through the motions' at their jobs. And the other 30 percent blah, blah, blah, punch line. -Jimmy Fallon

Due to the government spy scandal, sales of the classic George Orwell book ’1984′ have skyrocketed. So the fallout is worse than we thought. It’s making Americans read. -Conan O'Brien

Evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin and his wife, Connie, have been married a long time, and everybody thought they were happily married. Well, last week Putin announced he was divorcing Connie. And when Chris Humphries heard that, he said, ‘You can do that, really?’ So far, it’s a very amicable divorce. So far, Connie is still alive. -David Letterman

There are reports that female terrorists are being fitted with exploding breast implants. How many guys are going to use this as an excuse? ‘Honey, I’m not looking at her breasts. I’m working for Homeland Security’ -Jay Leno

Conservative commentator Glenn Beck is suffering from paralyzed vocal cords that have made him unable to speak. But not to worry – doctors are working around the clock to make sure this condition continues. -Conan O'Brien

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
DALID414 6/22/2013 11:46AM


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WOUBBIE 6/22/2013 11:13AM

    Omigod, that IS serious: "So the fallout is worse than we thought. It’s making Americans read."


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PDSLIM 6/22/2013 11:05AM


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DOVESEYES 6/22/2013 1:59AM


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SUSANBEAMON 6/22/2013 12:47AM

  liked that last one. he needs to be silent more.

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