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    REYVNCFOX   41,952
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Summer is here!

Friday, June 21, 2013

Summer has finally arrived, and brought with it a wave of the old me. Feeling really down today. Nothing specifically wrong, just not feeling like I am getting back the love I am putting out.


I used to live in a world that was me and the person I was talking to at the moment, but now I have become more outgoing and extroverted - which means I also get really self-conscious when nobody is paying any attention to me...

Did I do something wrong? Is somebody spreading rumours?

(okay, well - I am gay after all and that means of course somebody is spreading rumours... duh! - There is no gay community, rather a bunch of cliques that are buying you drinks all evening and stabbing you in the back all next day... but that really applies to most self defined "communities". - Don't blame the messenger - just calling it like it is.)

So I resort to my blog - I know people read it - even if they don't comment. What I would like to add is this - just keep it in your mind for the next time you are feeling like nobody is paying attention... Did you reply or acknowledge the messages sent to you? Make the 4-15 seconds of time that it requires to reply if a question was asked.

Edit to add:
I think I figured out the blueness... subconsciously I was still aware of the fact i was supposed to fly out to Ireland tomorrow but had to cancel because while the dream and hopes were there, the funds were not.
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NILLAPEPSI 6/22/2013 4:34PM

    Oh wow! I'd TOTALLY have the blues if I had to cancel a trip like that. Bummer!!!! Hang in there. You need to find something fun to do to fill that time. Go do something special with a friend. emoticon

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GARDENCHRIS 6/22/2013 8:05AM

    DO what you need to do to make yourself happy........ I've reached "the age" where I do what I need to do for me and if others are upset.... not my problem, I'm happy.

friends stick no matter what, acquaintances no so much and what they think of me .... eh not important in the bigger scheme of things. So I DO NOT worry about it.

be yourself and do not look to others to define who you are. emoticon

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TENNISJIM 6/22/2013 6:48AM

    Ah! Yes canceling a trip will cause the blues...however, you need to know you are an awesome person with incredible talent! I believe we "artistic" people see and feel more than non-artistic people.

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BONNIEMARGAY 6/22/2013 4:43AM

    Just keep giving love. Even when it doesn't come back, you know you have done your best.

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    You've posed a good question. That's a good reaction to 'one of those feelings' that come over all of us at one time or another. You're invariably honest, which is one of the things I really like about you. It keeps bringing me back to your blogs. I'm sure those around you are attracted to that honesty, and that romantic streak you wear on your sleeve. We all need to feel the love we put out is being returned. Consider this comment one of those 'returns'.
emoticon emoticon

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BIGPAWSUP 6/21/2013 1:27PM

    You are an awesome loving person. You certainly know how to make me laugh. I enjoy your company here and Spark and will always be here to "check in"

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