feeling absolutely dreadful
Friday, June 21, 2013
today no better than yesterday... I feel like a drug addict... all I can think about is food... not even food in general but chocolate... lollies.... and a coke... boy, right now I could kill for a coke. All I want to do is eat. Eat the food I'm thinking about. I wanna eat chocolate and not only one piece or two, no the entire package which I know is somewhere in the pantry. So far, I munched on healthy things, apples, bananas, nuts... but I WANT a sugar high... I WANT to binge... which is so ridiculous. I feel weak...and pathetic... and just plain stupid. And I don't know how I can prevent myself from binging. Husband is out for the night, I'd never binge in front of him, but he's gone. Nothing tastes nice... nothing satisfies right now, no popcorn, no apples, no applesauce, no yogurt... yet I know that once I'd be finished with the chocolate I'd feel even more revolted.
Writing it all down has certainly helped. Yet I don't know if it'll last me through the night... no idea what tomorrow's blog entry will bring.