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    GRANDEFILLE   51,157
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week 22 & 23


Friday, June 21, 2013

It has been some 2 weeks!!. first week I was stuffing myself like there was no tomorrow and second week was the awakening to what I was doing.

Apparently I have a very bad reaction to getting in the 220's. It has happened to me almost 2 years ago. I had gotten to 225.8 and suddenly I started going back up. Mainly by stuffing myself.

Good thing is this time I saw it. So I am working on it. What is it that I am so afraid of? Maybe there is an event linked to that weight that I don't want to relive... maybe I am afraid I will fail and self-sabotage is a good way out since it gives me an excuse for failing. It wouldn't be because I can't but because I won't... Kind of weird but for now it is an explanation.
mmmm... food for thoughts.

If and when I do find the reason for this I will keep you posted.

Here are the numbers :

week 1 : 259.6 lbs
week 8 : 248.6 (now under 250)
week 18 : 239.6 (now under 240)
week 21 : 227.8 (now under 230)

week 23 : 232.6
gain for the last 2 weeks (4.8 pound)

Starting weight 1/1/2011 : 258 (-25.4)
weight when joining Spark weight 4/16/2011 : 231.3 lbs (+1.3)
lowest weight since starting all this : 225.8 lbs (+6.8)
Ultimate goal weight : 180 (+52.6)
1/1/2013 weight : 263 lbs (-30.4)

I'm still on track at least. my goal was 1 pound a week and I still have 30.4 pounds in 23 weeks. No time to quit. Besides the month still shows a loss so I'm doing ok.

On a another note, I have cut the second dress and should be able to finish it this weekend. Most of the vendors for the wedding have been hired. So all is moving along nicely. It is still a lot of work, but it will be a fantastic wedding. Can' t wait for it and the honeymoon!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITKAT62 6/28/2013 12:16PM

    I can relate. I stuffed myself while on vacation and now I am paying the price.
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AFINEMESS 6/23/2013 10:59AM

    I tend to do this as well, self sabotage. No idea why.. When I see a loss it's like I allow myself to have this and that and I indulge until I gain back and then feel sorry for myself and it's hard to get back on track.. so better stay on! YOU can do IT!!

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RIBKNIT 6/22/2013 12:49PM

    Congrats on your awareness! Without that, we go nowhere. It has taken many years to get into the negative habits we have, and it takes longer than we expect to shake them. You can figure this out and move through it!

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MERRY_XMAS 6/22/2013 8:06AM

    You CAN do it! Stay focused and remember all the hard work... You deserve to be the most beautiful and happy bride in the world! You have the perfect groom, now you can work on providing the perfect bride emoticon

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KING_SLAYER 6/21/2013 2:55PM

    What I liked about this blog post is that I didn't pick up any negativity or self loathing from you over being up for the last 2 weeks. :) You've found an issue, have begun dealing with it and that's that. Good for you sis. Keep on truckin' and the weight will start dropping off again and before you know it you will be wearing your dress in front of a crowd of people, all there to see you :)

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DOVESEYES 6/21/2013 8:31AM

    Sometimes it is really hard to see what is going on, maybe a change like adding a few nuts or extra protein will be the thing that fills you up so you don't want to 'stuff' or eating the 'stuff' in the morning and exercising it off rather than at night.

These have worked for me, but hey I've NEVER carried a trainer up a hill!!!

You are pretty amazing.

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