Thursday, June 20, 2013
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
And that has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm blogging about ~ but I love stuff like that.
I had an appointment with my addictions counselor today. It was a great appointment. Rich has been my counselor for about 5 years and I absolutely love him. We are kinda 'friends' as well as being in a counseling relationship. We don't see each other outside of his office but he has even commented that we are 'more' than just patient/counselor. We discuss 'other' things sometimes and we know each other pretty good. I have 'son' type feelings for him. Anyway, we discussed my 'abandonment' issues ~ I have HUGE abandonment problems. Other than that, things are going well for me. I told him about my using Kratom at our last appointment, which is an herb-type natural remedy for many things, including pain, depression, drug withdrawal and it gives you energy. I really. really like it. Rich has looked into it since our last appointment and he sees nothing wrong with it ~ so I can continue on it. It really helps me with all of these things and I really like it. Has anyone else ever tried it?
I am having a problem with my diet, as well. We had an exercise on Spark Coach a couple of days ago, in which we were supposed to 'listen to our body' and eat accordingly. I thought that might create a bit of a problem and I was right. This is, actually, an on-going problem that I have and I need to figure out what to do about it.
I get up between 9 and 10 in the morning and go to bed between midnight and 2. My body does not want anything besides coffee until noon. In fact, it doesn't really want to eat until about 3 in the afternoon but I do make myself eat something for lunch ~ at least a sandwich or something with protein. Mid-afternoon I will have some other small thing. Supper is a good, regular size supper. (I doubt I will ever get used to the word 'dinner' for the evening meal lol) And, I do eat something around 9 because I don't get to bed until so late. Which is all fine and dandy. But, some evenings, I want to eat and eat and eat. So ~ I have to find some 'good' and low-calorie things to eat in the evening. I've tried doing the 'normal' thing with having something small with my breakfast coffee and a larger lunch ~ but it all works out the same. In the evenings, I am hungry. So ~ I've got to come up with a solution to this. I guess I will do some reading here, at SP, and hopefully, I will find an answer. That is my biggest diet 'issue' right now ~ but it's a BIG one. :) I doubt if I'm going to lose any more weight until I figure it out. :(