I rec'd some bad news today during a counseling appointment with my daughter, Marissa, who has ODD, ADHD, and is cognitively disabled. (She'll be 18 in September. ) The counselor gave Marissa a scenario in which to handle a conflict with Isabel, her 9 year old sister, and she failed miserably. The counselor looked at me and said "I would highly recommend that you NOT work out of the home."
I've been searching for a job, since my photography business fell apart, and I've been trying to fight my anxiety.
It all started, because of Marissa being abusive to her 9 year old sister in our home. My only choice would be to place my almost 18 year old in a group home. And how is that a choice? NO one would look after her and care about her more than me. I'm at a loss.
We live in low income housing, and our rent is $300 a month. We live on $925 a month for the four of us.
I tried to succeed with a photography business, but when you have other people who get tax returns or have spouses who have money, and they get fancy cameras and equipment and you have nothing... It doesn't work so well.
People don't want to hire someone without proper equipment and pay them. I was doing so well until about 10 other photographers came into the business. Now I'm at the bottom. The only way people want me is if I'm free.
I've been strong in the past dealing with being way below the poverty level... I've overcome so much in my life... but... A person can only be strong for so long until they crack.
I honestly don't know what to do anymore. What kind of mother am I, that I can't provide all that they need materially. I feel like such a low life loser.
I pray every night, that my 9 year old's SSI appeal will be approved, but I seriously doubt it. She has Sturge Weber Syndrome, and epilepsy.
I just don't know anymore.... .