Frustrated as f*** bout to scream :(
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Ok so I literally jus sat down at work but I needed to blog. I'm so frustrated I jus wanna scream of hide in a hole or eat as much pasta and chocolate as I can get my hands on. I have been feeling pretty bloated this week. My stomach feels like its sticking out more, standing I feel fine but sitting I feel like a fat tub of lard.
I have been exercising pretty hard this week, I did a 16 hr shift on sunday and have ran every day since then. I have been switching it up too like Monday I jogged an hour Tuesday jogged 30 min then did some strength training we'd jogged for 30 min then some stretching. I have been staying in the 1200-1600 calorie range the whole week, good choices and at least a gallon of water a day, most days a gallon n a half. I am tired though, I enjoy exercising it kinda seems to be almost all I can think about for the moment even my daughter likes to join me. I work up a good sweat then make sure I'm scrubbing and using my exfoliating sponge really good.
I even said no to Chinese food yesterday and crab Rangoon is my favorite! I pack my lunch everyday for work so that I know what I'm gettin into and I eat a little every few hours.
I figured that since I was having a hard time I would hop on the scale, who am I kidding, I'm addicted to the scale if I could carry it around every day and weigh every time I pee I would :/ know that's not a good thing but still.......
So I've only lost 0.4 of a pound, wtf I mean seriously?!?!? Why???? I'm doing everything!!!!!! Salads and veggies and lean proteins and protein shakes after exercising. Why am I fat and bloated and miserable?!?!?! Why is the scale not budging!!!!! Why do I was cuss and rant and rave at everyone and tear s*** up. That's really the kinda mood I'm in I'm not normally hateful I'm normally really chi but today I feel pretty pissed off. I'm so frustrated I can't figure out if I wanna stop eating or eat everything in sight. I think maybe I should get on the treadmill and work out my frustrations but then too I feel like maybe if I took a rest day today that tomorrow's weigh in would go better. I jus dunno but I know I wanna scream.
On top of that I took three pregnancy tests, my monthy visitor still has not come. All three were negative and I waited a good while between them stopped taking my vitapak that I take everyday religiously, and didnt drink as much water thinking that I was flushing out the little bit of hormones that would be in my urine with almost 2 gallons of water.
Since all three were negative I started taking my vitamins last week.
Ok so I notice a difference in my body. Everything feels more loose and jiggly and I hate it. My thighs, my stomach, my upper arms. I had lost an inch on one of my upper arms but the saggy jigglyness is there. That I can live with for a little while. The stomach and the thighs however are a no go, I'm so frustrated my thighs used to look pretty solid now they look pretty bad. A little bit of saggy but mostly loose and jiggly. Omg I'm mad. I do leg exercises too, more leg exercises than arm exercises. And I think my stomach has went up am inch this week >:(
I really am jus angry all the way around. I'm not gonna give up jus yet but I feel like sayin f*** it.