Thursday, June 20, 2013
I did it again..I am such a super slacker and I mean I am good at it. I hit the scale at 291 as of yesterday which offically makes me the largest I have ever been. I feel every bit of it. I could have met this disappointment with more self-loathing but instead I prayed about it and got some perspective. truth is for me its about getting to the place of acceptance and contentment; I need to be okay with loving me no matter what my size. I haven't ever done that. See, me loving myself has always been contingent on whether or not I met my weight goal. I could never see the future me being a happy fat person 'she' is always skinny and everyone loves 'her' for it. Im not saying the future me isn't smaller size however, I am saying that, A: I will always no matter what size I am, strive to be fit and healthy and B: I am making it a priority to love myself regardless of the numbers on the scale because that is mandatory.