It's a rare occasion to find me wearing shorts of any kind (besides sports shorts for running) and you'd be better off tracking down a yeti than looking for me to don a pair of short shorts as part of a regular ensemble.
I guess my hangups about my legs started in Jr. High. I hardly ever wore shorts back then either (probably because the dress code shorts were butt ugly). Well, I had a project for the science fair, so on the day of judging I decided to dress up and wear a skirt to school. Boy, was that a mistake.
Everyone had something to say about my legs, nothing bad, but I guess they were all surprised at how "healthy" my legs were esp compared to my upper body. I remember one teacher saying "you have some big pretty legs." It was meant as a compliment, but I was majorly annoyed by it in addition to the fact that a couple of the males in my circle of friends kept trying to touch my legs (boys *rolls eyes*). It wasn't that I didn't like my legs, it was just that I really was just uncomfortable with people taking notice and complimenting me on anything other than my intellect (yes I was...and still am a proud nerd).
Another contributing factor to my aversion to shorts is the trend of wearing uber short shorts that only come as far as the booty crease (okay, so I know that's not the correct anatomical term for it, but I'm referring the the point at which the buttox meets the posterior thigh). That's just not my style & I don't think any fashion statement is worth making if you have to worry about your behind hanging out of your clothes every time you bend down or over.
Yet another problem I have with shorts is in the fit. Usually shorts that fit my waist are too tight around my thighs and ones that fit my thighs are too loose around my waist. I once tried on a pair of my little sister's shorts. I'm the middle of 3 girls and we all swap pants, shirts, shoes and everything else (except undies) which is weird because we have three distinct body types. Anyway, I put on her shorts & we both had a good laugh! She said I looked like Patrick trying to wear Spongebob's shorts, & I did! Though I could put them on, my thighs were busting all out of those things, & I was looking a Hot Mess!
I've toughed out my summers wearing mainly capris, bermuda shorts, pedal pushers, gauchos and any other short cropped pant that doesn't really classify as real shorts.
Fast forward to last weekend. I'm in a clothing store with my boyfriend & he points at a pair of shorts and says with a chuckle, "these are the upgraded version of your shorts." I'm like, "What?" I'm looking at the shorts and they do resemble a pair that I wear occasionally, but I don't know what he's talking about when he says "upgraded." So he explains that the shorts he's pointing to are shorter and more stylish than mine. I refute that there's not that much difference in length & he's like "yeah right, your shorts come to here! *points to my knees." We both burst into laughter after which I roll my eyes and tell him to hush. Of course he's exaggerating, but my shorts actually are a bit too long to be at all flattering. We move on & continue browsing.
Yesterday I went shopping for a pair of slacks (and shoes, which are ALWAYS on the list, even when they're not, lol). In the process, I happen upon a couple pairs of shorts in hues that really compliment my skin tone. They're shorter than I'd normally go for, but what's it gonna hurt to try them on in a dressing room where no one can see, right? So I head to the dressing room & try on the first pair of shorts. They fit well, but they're the "booty crease" kind & that's a no-no. The second pair fit really nice, the waist wasn't creating a noticeable bulge at the back, my thighs weren't being squeezed from the legs of the shorts plus I could bend over without mooning anyone, could this be real??? Surely I was in a dream because they had a clearance tag & were on sale for $8! JACKPOT! I took my daydreaming self to the register (after looking in the shoes, of course), and purchased my first pair of what could be considered short shorts ever. WOW!
Who wears short shorts?
This Chick right here!