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    THEETSYBAY   4,030
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My #%&(*%^# family...

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

If we could choose our families, my sisters would be Jill & Michelle, for we love each other unconditionally & non-judgementally.
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But since I'm stuck with who I have, I just have to suffer through...
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Instead of being happy for my losing 36 pounds, my sister has yet to acknowledge anything as she is too jealous.
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While she has been supportive, today my mother told me that she thinks it's time I stopped losing weight.
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I weigh 190 pounds, for Pete's sake, and I am *NOT* tall enough for that to be considered a healthy weight on ANYBODY'S chart!!
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She said that after I walked out to show her how big my clothes are getting. Today I'm wearing an old Chicago Bulls t-shirt (3-peat Repeat, for those of you who remember) and a pair of shorts I bought several years ago, which I doubt I'd ever worn since they were too tight. They're runner's shorts & are supposed to be loose, well now they are. (But it's not like I'm going to be running LOL).
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After getting dressed, I felt pretty good about my clothes being too big. Last night, I was helping a friend through a crisis of conscience by relating to him that I'd done something similar when I was younger. I don't know what kind of reaction I expected from him, but in telling him what I'd done all the feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment, humiliation & mistrust surfaced causing me to take a clonazepam. At that point, I figured that a pill was better than food, since they're prescribed to help me sleep--don't worry, I'm not in the habit of doing so.
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Oh, and I got a body wave 2 weeks ago and I don't like it...
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So now I'm more determined than ever to reach my goal and bury those damn emotions again. I do not like dwelling on negative things because it's too emotionally draining and it leads to binge eating.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BMCOLLEY 6/20/2013 11:52AM

    I do hope you venting has made you feel better--it usually makes me feel better. I am sure your sister has not changed she has just become more obnoxious than she was before. Have you tried getting her as one of your health partners (nutrition and fitness)? It is unfortunate that she is so jealous it is hurting her.

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HAPPYMENOW58 6/19/2013 5:54PM

    Hang in there...My family is the same way!Grrrrrrrrr!

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BEBARB149 6/19/2013 4:47PM

    It's possible to love your family and still appreciate that they aren't perfect. What matters is that what you do makes you happy and makes you proud of you. Then you can hug your mom and say "Oh, mom!" when she says something like that and compliment your sister just to show her how it's done without feeling let down by them.

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BAMAJAM 6/19/2013 3:35PM

  Hey there--- You are doing great! Don't allow your sister to rain on your parade. You have your Spark friends giving you the support and the praise you deserve! Pickie98 said it, and I will say it to you too---- Go for it baby!!!!
Hooray for you, and put on your happy face!!!

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PICKIE98 6/19/2013 2:52PM

    Jealous and insecure family members bring out the claws when somebody makes a change.. it puts THEM under the gun and they are uncomfortable.. Bully tactics basically, on a different scale, but nonetheless, the tool of choice.

Thumper's mom was exactly right: "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all."

I am proud of you that you did not cave to the pressure in the family and are still in your healthy lifestyle!! Go for it baby!!!!!!!

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