If we could choose our families, my sisters would be Jill & Michelle, for we love each other unconditionally & non-judgementally.
But since I'm stuck with who I have, I just have to suffer through...
Instead of being happy for my losing 36 pounds, my sister has yet to acknowledge anything as she is too jealous.
While she has been supportive, today my mother told me that she thinks it's time I stopped losing weight.
I weigh 190 pounds, for Pete's sake, and I am *NOT* tall enough for that to be considered a healthy weight on ANYBODY'S chart!!
She said that after I walked out to show her how big my clothes are getting. Today I'm wearing an old Chicago Bulls t-shirt (3-peat Repeat, for those of you who remember) and a pair of shorts I bought several years ago, which I doubt I'd ever worn since they were too tight. They're runner's shorts & are supposed to be loose, well now they are. (But it's not like I'm going to be running LOL).
After getting dressed, I felt pretty good about my clothes being too big. Last night, I was helping a friend through a crisis of conscience by relating to him that I'd done something similar when I was younger. I don't know what kind of reaction I expected from him, but in telling him what I'd done all the feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment, humiliation & mistrust surfaced causing me to take a clonazepam. At that point, I figured that a pill was better than food, since they're prescribed to help me sleep--don't worry, I'm not in the habit of doing so.
Oh, and I got a body wave 2 weeks ago and I don't like it...
So now I'm more determined than ever to reach my goal and bury those damn emotions again. I do not like dwelling on negative things because it's too emotionally draining and it leads to binge eating.