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    CAROLFAITHWALKR    
 
 

Tuesday Update


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Went to the library Monday to print my résumé so I could take it to the other places where I have to apply in person & can't upload it online.

While I was there I looked up and mapquested and wrote down many other things on my to do list. YMCAs and other fitness places and contact info, so I can find the best-priced places for showers after I move out. Also emailed a friend from my previous Life Group and asked if I could use her address for my driver's license since you can't use PO Box on DLs. She said yes.

Also found out I do not have to get an inspection - this changed since the last time I read the website. Whew!! Soooooo thankful . . .

There is another snafu. I get a temporary DL, then within 20 days I'll get the real thing. To title and register my vehicle (and get rid of my Maryland tag that expired in Nov), I have to have the real license, can't use the temporary license. So even if took and passed my driver's test today, I'd still have to wait 20 days to get the tag . . . So I'm going to be sleeping in my car with an expired tag and there's nothing I can do about it. In those cases, you just give it to God.

Finally got everything done, wrote down all the mapquest directions to these places, verified all my references on my job and personal references sheet, as company names and phone numbers had changed, and printed the references sheet as well as copies of my résumé. It was 2pm when I left the library.

Which meant changing clothes and applying was not going to happen today. Sigh.

I drove to try to find the place I am the most hopeful about, and good news it's in my original town - just never knew it was there. After all the times I asked local people over and over again . . . no one said anything . . . sigh. Well at least I know . . . now.

After that did errands AND STAYED GONE FROM THE HOUSE. I slept in the car a little before coming home after midnight. Went to the bathroom and went to bed.

This morning when I went to the bathroom, found a multi-paragraph note taped to the bathroom mirror, dated yesterday, which wasn't there last night. Yes, boys and girls, you guessed it! It's Psycho Time Again! Yee haw!

Recap in the past she "required, Required, REQUIRED" that I get an "accountability partner" (see June 10 blog). Both my friends said they'd do it. One is on my Facebook; and the other one's name was already a reference on a church application. I didn't want her to recognize either one, just in case. So I used one of their first names but made up a last name, since she went behind my back before, and I no longer trust her at all.

On Sunday Jun 16 blog, one of things I wrote about that was lost when my blog was lost due to McDonald's servers being reset, was that when she cornered me on the staircase as I was leaving for church on Sunday morning, she asked me a barrage of questions (interrogation). One of the things she asked was if I'd found "someone to HELP me", then she asked the name, then she asked me was that someone in church (so she could go behind my back and contact them - CERTAINLY NOT!!), AND then she demanded their phone number - it was not a question.

I said, "I'll ask her for permission to share her phone number". She said, "Good you can GIVE IT TO ME when you come back here after church". I don't know what planet she's living on, if she would for some reason think I'd come back there after church! Church is in the neighboring city; I never ever come back home after church since I moved in here, instead I save 20 miles gasoline by staying there and doing errands and going to ministorage and never come back til late at night.

When times were good, I never came back here after church.

And she's definitely disconnected from reality to think I'd give her ANYONE'S phone number.

Am I second guessing too much on those points? Maybe assigning her wrong motives? No. I have proof in her own words on the note on bathroom mirror.

She went on and on about me staying away, and went on and on about how she's going to call them and discuss their plan for my self-sufficiency, etc etc. Not at all "accountability partner" stuff, which as I suspected from the beginning and stated in my previous blog, that it had nothing at all to do with accountability. Even the goober guy I met with, said not a single word about accountability or anything related to the subject or topics surrounding it. She also said that me giving her their number was required for my continued residence her. She went on and on about "us communicating via notes", and the two locations I could tape notes (crazy - I am not leaving her 'notes'; I will speak to her face to face when the time comes for the Matthew 18 meeting), and that I needed "professional help to assist me in my job pursuit", and stated she assumed I was at Life Group (last night) and was glad I was there "for emotional support". Doesn't take a genius to read between the lines there; "professional help; emotional support". I'd call that projection, myself. She's a psycho, so is projecting the need for "getting help", onto me.

Psychology definition of PROJECTION:
a. The attribution of one's own attitudes, feelings, or suppositions to others.
b. The attribution of one's own attitudes, feelings, or desires to someone or something as a naive or unconscious defense against anxiety or guilt.

She's not going to be able to use projection during the Matthew 18 meeting. That's for sure.

Just like the psycho voice mail (June 16 blog) which I did not respond to, I am not responding to, nor removing, the note on the bathroom mirror.

I guess I am moving out before Friday afternoon, and I guess we are having the Matthew 18 meeting (June 11 blog), much sooner than I think I'm ready for. I wanted to do it in the right spirit, as a SparkFriend pointed out; but I will just have to practice a few times in the mirror and then wing it. I have prayed and fasted some, but not enough, for the Matthew 18 meeting.

Yesterday my plan was to apply at the other places this morning. However, due to the psycho note on the bathroom mirror, I am doing laundry right now, and will try to get my hair permed before work at the piddly pay job today. So once again, her craziness is interrupting job hunting; I previously lost an entire week of job hunting due to time wasted with and being upset from the goober guy. BUT, I can apply at those places tomorrow since my résumé copies and application info sheets are printed and updated. (I can apply at those places tomorrow morning, but I may not be able to perm my hair here tomorrow morning.)

I was going to try to get a NC tag before I moved out to live in my car. But since I now know I can't do that, because it's going to take 20+ days because this state is strange, then I'm going to go ahead and move out without trying to get my car legal first.

I considered trying to get a tag in Maryland, driving there Fri night and going to DMV on Monday morning - it would cost me the tag plus gasoline plus the threat of getting stopped for expired tag. I might make some calls about that - if they suspended my registration due to expired tag and want to charge me alot of extras fees for all of that, I can't afford that on top of the gasoline expense of the trip, so if so then I'll just go ahead and do it here instead.

It is a relief to know that since it's going to take 20+ days to get the real license, and I can't get the tag until after that, that means I don't have to try to tough it out here. I thought I could do it in a few days, but no way would I voluntarily stay here for an additional 20-30 days. So that means I am free to move out, free to go. The sooner the better. I will be gone long before Friday afternoon. Probably one more night here. I'll return the key at the Matthew 18 meeting.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
WARMSPRINGDAY 6/18/2013 8:14PM

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A_NEW_JAN 6/18/2013 4:48PM

    You need to keep yourself safe, Carol. It seems like getting out of there will do that.

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LINDA! 6/18/2013 2:55PM

    I am continuing to pray for you. emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 6/18/2013 1:56PM

    It sounds like you are doing the right thing and really need to get out of there.

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NASFKAB 6/18/2013 12:13PM

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