Tuesday, June 18, 2013
You know all of those times when you’re anxious or stressed and you just want to be bad but you should really occupy yourself? That is what I’m doing now. Distracting my brain!
I worked SO HARD last week on this presentation that some of my team members are delivering as I type this in another state. I’m not there, so I can’t see how it is going, but that isn’t stopping me from sitting here all anxious waiting to hear how it goes. I got them to try a few new things and I sincerely hope that this goes well for them. Aghhh.
I am SO off today. Maybe it is my brain and this nervousness, but I got off to a rough start. I woke up at what I thought was 6:45 am. I even said “OH SH&T” out loud because I thought I was late. I rush into the bathroom, get all dressed for work, go to check my phone to see if I was really that late and it says… 5 am. At this point I blink my eyes a few times, mess with my phone for a second to see if I’m right – and I realize I am now fully dressed and made up for work at 5 in the morning. I did have a moment where I considered going to the gym that early but I was like man, I look all nice right now, nope. So I went out to the couch and fell asleep for another hour and now I have that groggy “I panicked, and then took a nap, and now I’m at work” feeling.
Yesterday I only squeezed in 30 mins on the treadmill. I could have easily worked through lunch because I had a lot going on, but I stood up for myself and went. I have a confession – sometimes when the treadmill seems like the last thing I want to do on this planet, I put on Netflix, churn up the speed, and just walk at a good pace for as long as I can stand. I know it probably isn’t the BEST form of workout… I sometimes feel guilty like I’m not focusing or pushing myself enough, but it DOES get me to stay on the treadmill for longer so that should be worth something right?! ANYWAYS - My latest Netflix adventure is Doctor Who. If you’ve ever been on Pinterest, you know that there is a HUGE amount of people obsessed with this show, so I decided to give it a try. The episodes are about 40 mins long so I strive to keep up a good walk for an episode’s length if I can. Well I put on an episode yesterday that had me almost openly crying on the treadmill. I was shocked! I did NOT expect a show to make me cry, especially only like the 8th episode of it that I’ve watched. I just don’t get emotional over TV shows like that. And at the gym?! Who am I?!?!?!
I came home from work yesterday and realized both BF & I forgot that the energy company was coming to evaluate our apartment. They installed new shower heads, sink faucets, energy efficient light bulbs, etc… I am sort of in love with the new light bulbs, they “warm up” and start softer so I don’t get blinded like I used to first thing in the morning going into the bathroom. They give my eyes time to naturally adjust. The showerheads on the other hand… I SWEAR my hair feels dirty today. I don’t think it got my hair stuff washed out very well. Wah. Anyways, I decided to do a deep clean of the bathroom after work and I’m even a little sore today. I still say good cleaning is a form of exercise, I know I really scrub and get those muscles going! After that, I made a new pinterest recipe for spicy shrimp quesadillas. I used gluten free wraps and reduced fat cheese, and I baked them instead of pan frying them. They went over really well and I think next time I will pile even more veggies in them. Yum!
Besides that, I am now struggling with my mother. I suppose she’s panicking now that my sister has moved away and married. She’s becoming hyperfocused on me and I am already feeling it. I know I’m the one closest to her now, but my goodness! She asked us out to dinner the past three days. Each time I try explaining to her how I have healthy meals planned at home and have things to take care of around the house, and I know she does too. I think she’s just trying to occupy herself but what she really needs is a hobby, not my attention. Now she’s asking me to go to the mall and I’m just like – you need to relax. Her anxiety is making ME anxious.
…On top of my work anxiety. So I suppose you could say I’m a tired, groggy, sort of spaced out anxious mess today? Aren’t you glad you’re the sparkfriend of a crazy chick?!?!?!
Anyways – gym time will have to do indoors today. It is getting dark and ominous looking outside yet again. Maryland is definitely NOT in a drought these days. I’m surprised we’re not all kayaking to work. I have a gluten free beef meal planned for tonight. I always start with good intentions, I REALLY want to make this a good week. I’ve got new batteries in the scale and I intend to put them to good use! What are YOU focusing on and doing this week? I love to hear your stories!