Monday, June 17, 2013
It's been a week and a day since I started logging my food on my phone. I didn't eat within my calorie goal until yesterday. Tomorrow I am going to weigh myself. I'm pretty sure I've lost some weight despite eating over my calorie range by at least 3 to 400 calories a day. I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in 3 months. 40 minutes of cardio under my belt. Yay me!
I've decided to change the way I think...again. Why do I continue to ride this roller coaster? It's been since the 4th grade when I went on my first diet. What is that? 9? 10 years old? Gets kind of awful growing up thinking you're not good enough just the way you are. Anyways, a no carb diet. Lost 50 lbs. Fourth grade and I haven't stopped the coaster since.
I've begun to think of how I want to be a healthy, active mommy. I've been looking at photos of me at 223lbs in January of 2012 and damn, I was looking good and feeling good and I can tell by the photos. I've been thinking if I'm going to get off this roller coaster ride I have to eat food I like and not just what I think I'm suppose to eat. This will take some time to master. I've been thinking why is my attitude this is so hard? This is hard but so is being sad about my weight and eventually that will turn into my health I'm sure. My Mom's side of the family are all very overweight and have diabetes. None of them take care of themselves ( except my mom, but she is overweight and has diabetes but she controls it well ). I don't want my knees to give and have to ride in a cart around the store. I want to take my son to Disneyland as many times as I can until he's 18 and up....and go on all the rides with him and fit in a seat and not hurt because my body hurts. I want to be an independent happy healthy woman, naturally. I want to love myself and be proud to be who I am.
Wow. This blog entry turned into a little more than I expected. Have great days...until next time. =)