Monday, June 17, 2013
I ate too much for breakfast yesterday with my husband's family but it was so good and worth the calories. (...so glad that breakfast place is 2 hours away) I also had lots of activity so it really wasn't that bad overall. Breakfasts like that, especially following a few weeks of eating more than I should and eating too much of the wrong things can be a huge trigger for me to continue the pattern.
My parents shared some heavy stuff when I called dad for Father's Day. Basically some family drama between my sister's husband and my dad and no intervention from my sister. It was so bad that my dad went to a counselor for perspective and guidance. I'm proud of him for seeking help and shocked to death that he went for help.
In short - Dad can be controlling, judgmental and passive-aggressive. He's almost always creative, generous and fun (though not my sense of humor). His friends love him. His family, close and extended, have various opinions of him and much of it is true. I can only take him in small doses. He's a good example of how nothing is black or white.
I can't process the whole thing. I couldn't sleep last night. I think my sister is ok/safe but I'm concerned. Her husband seems to dote on her but that doesn't mean things are ok. They live half-way across the country. We aren't that close so nosing in doesn't feel right, plus I don't want dragged in to the drama between both sides. I am going to send an email to remind her I'm here (and will be there) if she needs.
I'm worried about how this may have shattered my family and how my parents may not get to be part of their only grandkid's life. I'm scared for them and for my sister.
This morning I left my badge at home when I left at 5:15 AM. So much for getting there at 6:15 AM to get some work done. My day was back-to-back meetings 7:30-3:30 with one 30 min break to do work I planned to do first thing this AM and try to work my way through all the new work that was assigned to me in meetings.
After that yummy-artery-clogging- breakfast, family drama, sleeping about 3 hours and more stress at work I had several wins. I ate food as planned! When I couldn't get in the office, I walked around and around a garage to and from getting coffee. I walked for about 40 minutes and got back to my garage just as one of my employees was driving in. The walk helped me feel better after the sleepless night and stress. I credit it for putting me in a much better mood and actually finding some fun in the otherwise frustrating day. When I considered an afternoon snack, I skipped it and thought about hitting the treadmill when I got home, even though I have a few hours of work to do tonight. I changed my clothes and got on the treadmill for 40 mins. of walk/run intervals as soon as I walked in the door.
I didn't use all of the bad as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted or too much of anything or to wallow around in a bad mood or to flounder in non-productivity. And now I'm here, reflecting on the positive.
I needed this success. I can use this to feel a little pride and start a good streak. I really NEEDED to feel like I can do this. I needed this time to find gratitude and be positive when things don't feel so positive.
Enough and time to get to work!