And by they - I mean most of you guys.
My "OCD-type A-schedule-pants" got lost. Especially when it comes to Spark. Some days with Elliott I am totally in control and have life down to a science. Not very often. Most days are pretty willy-nilly and I am totally ok with that. So where does this fit in with Spark?
Last week, I had a bad cold and Brad was working long hours. I could not be bothered to track my food on Spark - something I have done religiously for 1.5 years, except for a week in Mexico and the first 2 weeks after Elliott was born.
The weight hadn't been dropping, despite killer fitness minutes and eating in range.
But what is a range, when your caloric expenditure is completely different from day-to-day. Not just talking about exercise vs a couch day. Breastfeeding is weird. Some days, like in a growth spurt, Elliott will eat eat eat all day and I'm starving and can consume 3000+ calories without trying. other days he isn't eating so much and I only feel I need 1500 or so. Not to mention the different caloric needs when you are sleep-deprived vs well-rested.
So I decided to stop tracking. And I feel so much better. I am listening more to my body, and the scale is showing it. My milk supply is still great, so I know I am eating enough. My fitness is still slowly getting back up after that horrible cold, and we'll get there.
Just to show how much Spark had really been controlling me, here is an account of how we spent Father's Day.
We had McDs for breakfast, because Brad wanted egg mcmuffins, but I had been up with Elliott since 0530, so no way in heck I was cooking haha. (4 month sleep regression = I am not sleeping much!) Then, Brad wanted to go to a nearby park for a hike. Gorgeous!!!
I had forgotten to wear my sneakers and wore my not-yet-broken-in-for-2013-fak
e-birkenstocks (big mistake, I have owies). I did not expect to hike as long as we did - 1.5 hours almost, and with hills and at times I pushed the stroller! About 20 minutes in, I realized I was not living in the moment and was fussing about not having my heart rate monitor on to track my calories burned.
What. The. Eff. Gorgeous Sunday. Brad's first Father's Day. Maybe our last Sunday together for a while before Brad hits the road for work. And I'm ruminating about how many calories I've burned. I opened up to Brad about it while we were walking (he already knew I had stopped tracking my food) and he said "We knew this would happen. Having Elliott would mean your rigid ways would need to stop."
So true. I am so much more relaxed. I spend more time snuzzling him and playing with him than making a workout calendar and tracking food. And the weight is now falling off.
Don't get me wrong. Spark is AMAZING and I wouldn't be where I am today without it, and I am SO DANG GRATEFUL for many of the connections I have made here. I'm not going away forever, just taking a breather. The rigid way I have used Spark in the past has no room in my life with my little monkey.
And that's okay - because if we know one thing about me, I'm all or nothing.
Elliott is 4 months old today!! He can roll over from back to tummy (only to the right, haha)
He grabs his toys on his playmat or bouncy chair!
He loves to practice sitting up with Mamma and Daddy, or sitting in his Bumbo with his friend Gerome
He is a Tennessee Titans fan like his Daddy! (I got this diaper ordered special for Father's Day - Brad was STOKED!)
And he loves being outside!
He also loves to be tickled and have fart noises made to him - he has the greatest giggle ever!!
Off to feed the little monster. Have a wonderful week you all! Remember that you will work your own program and find what works for you!!