They said this would happen.

Monday, June 17, 2013

And by they - I mean most of you guys.

And me.

My "OCD-type A-schedule-pants" got lost. Especially when it comes to Spark. Some days with Elliott I am totally in control and have life down to a science. Not very often. Most days are pretty willy-nilly and I am totally ok with that. So where does this fit in with Spark?

Last week, I had a bad cold and Brad was working long hours. I could not be bothered to track my food on Spark - something I have done religiously for 1.5 years, except for a week in Mexico and the first 2 weeks after Elliott was born.

The weight hadn't been dropping, despite killer fitness minutes and eating in range.

But what is a range, when your caloric expenditure is completely different from day-to-day. Not just talking about exercise vs a couch day. Breastfeeding is weird. Some days, like in a growth spurt, Elliott will eat eat eat all day and I'm starving and can consume 3000+ calories without trying. other days he isn't eating so much and I only feel I need 1500 or so. Not to mention the different caloric needs when you are sleep-deprived vs well-rested.

So I decided to stop tracking. And I feel so much better. I am listening more to my body, and the scale is showing it. My milk supply is still great, so I know I am eating enough. My fitness is still slowly getting back up after that horrible cold, and we'll get there.

Just to show how much Spark had really been controlling me, here is an account of how we spent Father's Day.

We had McDs for breakfast, because Brad wanted egg mcmuffins, but I had been up with Elliott since 0530, so no way in heck I was cooking haha. (4 month sleep regression = I am not sleeping much!) Then, Brad wanted to go to a nearby park for a hike. Gorgeous!!!

I had forgotten to wear my sneakers and wore my not-yet-broken-in-for-2013-fak
e-birkenstocks (big mistake, I have owies). I did not expect to hike as long as we did - 1.5 hours almost, and with hills and at times I pushed the stroller! About 20 minutes in, I realized I was not living in the moment and was fussing about not having my heart rate monitor on to track my calories burned.

What. The. Eff. Gorgeous Sunday. Brad's first Father's Day. Maybe our last Sunday together for a while before Brad hits the road for work. And I'm ruminating about how many calories I've burned. I opened up to Brad about it while we were walking (he already knew I had stopped tracking my food) and he said "We knew this would happen. Having Elliott would mean your rigid ways would need to stop."

So true. I am so much more relaxed. I spend more time snuzzling him and playing with him than making a workout calendar and tracking food. And the weight is now falling off.

Don't get me wrong. Spark is AMAZING and I wouldn't be where I am today without it, and I am SO DANG GRATEFUL for many of the connections I have made here. I'm not going away forever, just taking a breather. The rigid way I have used Spark in the past has no room in my life with my little monkey.

And that's okay - because if we know one thing about me, I'm all or nothing.

Elliott is 4 months old today!! He can roll over from back to tummy (only to the right, haha)

He grabs his toys on his playmat or bouncy chair!

He loves to practice sitting up with Mamma and Daddy, or sitting in his Bumbo with his friend Gerome

He is a Tennessee Titans fan like his Daddy! (I got this diaper ordered special for Father's Day - Brad was STOKED!)

And he loves being outside!

He also loves to be tickled and have fart noises made to him - he has the greatest giggle ever!!

Off to feed the little monster. Have a wonderful week you all! Remember that you will work your own program and find what works for you!!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm so happy you're enjoying being "Mummy"! You definitely have to throw out the Type A, Stringent Scheduling when you have kids. I know this- I have four! If you find you're falling behind at some point, you can start tracking again. Enjoy your new little guy!
    1640 days ago
    You should consider doing random calorie checks though, just to see how you are doing. Just a suggestion. The problem with post-baby-making-ness is that your hormones are all crazy and breastfeeding burns a ton of calories. If you ditch calorie counting now, and form new habits that will be bad as time progresses, you will find it difficult to start again. Just be careful, every-time anyone here has stopped tracking themselves, I have never seen it end well. It always becomes a story about how they stopped tracking, formed bad habits, and gained so much back. Wish you the best with your little one, just make sure you think about everything you put in your body.
    1657 days ago
    AWWWWWWW!!!!! He is so CUTE!!!

    I love that you are listening to yourself and easing off your "rigid ways," as Brad put it, haha! It was probably stressing you out and getting in the way of just "being" for a change, and it sounds like that's what your body needed! I love, too, how you spent your Father's Day -- it looks gorgeous and I am so jealous right now!
    1670 days ago
  • BAKER1009
    All the sudden tonight you popped into my head...I thought, as I was dealing with a fussy teething baby (tooth 2 came through the gums today)...I wonder how Grace is doing.
    I know EXACTLY how you feel. Having a baby really changes your world, in a definite good way.
    I am SO glad to see you living freely and to the fullest. You sound so happy and that is all that matters. A happy mommy = a happy baby!
    Sounds like Brad had a good first Father's Day! How cool about the diaper cover! He's darling Grace! Do update us with pics from time to time and to let us know how you are doing!
    Big Hugs!!
    1674 days ago
    I was off the site for more then a year after Filip was born and only care to be outside with him and taking care of him.
    Now I`m tracking everything again ;)

    1680 days ago
    So excited to see pictures of the gorgeous little guy!!

    I think your "rigid ways" were awesome, and for the life you had at the time it allowed you to be successful in your weight loss journey and it helped you as you mentioned. But now that your life is evolving, your habits are evolving too, and the weight coming off shows just how much you know and how to listen to your body and live a healthy life and I am just so proud of you!

    I never want to leave Spark either, but I do look forward to getting to maintenance, and not right away, but eventually not tracking my food, or not weighing every ounce. I look forward to the day I pretty much have it under control and can maintain by watching what I eat and not counting every gram LOL. You are amazing! emoticon
    1681 days ago
    LOl I should hubby your little guys pics and he says especially the one in the bumpo looks like grampa Ron. lol
    He was dreaming about your dad the other night, he woke up saying you won't believe what I dreamt...
    Glad all is well, stop enjoy your dear little guy as this time goes fast.
    1681 days ago
    I completely agree 100%. I struggle with the OCD Spark-ing as well, and it really started controlling my life. While I don't have an infant at home like you do, I had to take a step back as well for my own health and sanity! Just know that you'll always have our support no matter what!!
    1681 days ago
    Well, baby does come first, as he should. And though I am sad to see you go (maybe you could just blog every once in awhile to keep us updated!), I happy your happy.

    That's what counts. Remember to listen to your body, and I know you will do well!

    Have a great week.

    PS. Elliott is so freakin' cute. So adorable, seriously though. More picture updates are good!
    1681 days ago
    He is adorable!! Great blog! It really puts things in perspective and congrats to your family of three :-)
    1681 days ago
  • ROCKMAN6797
    Whatever works for you is great!
    Thanks for sharing pictures of Elliott ....he is adorable! :)
    1681 days ago
    emoticon Glad you woked a way you can relax with him and lose.
    What a gorgeous kid. You're doing so much good to him by breastfeeding.
    Keep it up.
    1681 days ago
    It sounds like you are doing what you need to do. I agree, the OCD thing can only get you so far before you start driving yourself crazy. Good luck with your goals. I'm glad you are enjoying being a mom. Your little boy is adorable!
    1681 days ago
    What a doll baby. Enjoy your time with him. They grow sooo fast!
    1681 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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