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Monday, June 17, 2013

Today was Father's Day. I grew up without a father, so I never celebrated Father's Day much. The only father I know is my Heavenly Father who is taking care of me.

The Lead Pastor's wife (who is also a pastor) gave the sermon at church today. She spoke of how important fathers are in the lives of their children. The Hebrew word for father depicts an ox and a tent. This meant that the father was strong and he was in charge of the household. The Hebrew word for mother, oddly enough, also depicted an ox, but with water. Apparently at that time the women used to take the hides of the oxen and soak it in water to make glue. This then represented that the mother was the glue that held the family together. She spoke of her father who passed away two years ago. Of course she was very emotional. I too was very emotional, because on the day that Carolyn's father passed away, my dear husband had a heart attack while driving a school bus. My husband passed away 5 days later after I took him off life support.

I have been feeling very emotional all day today. I haven't been to visit my dh's grave in some time. I am going to make sure I get there this week. It is hard to get there by bus, but I am going to attempt it anyway. God will help me find a way. My son set up a in memoriam page on Facebook where we can go any time to jot down how we feel. It is comforting to have that.
I am still dealing with my grief and I still feel very emotional. Thankfully my church has a Grief Share program that I am currently taking. It has helped.

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