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    MEDDYPEDDY   131,409
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Looking forward...

Monday, June 17, 2013

Midsummer week begins in Sweden. It seems to be a sunny day ahead, will put daughter on bus to her father in an hour or so, and then it is work work... We had opening night on our summer theatre friday and then performances saturday sunday as well, and now we are "off" until 29 of june although I guess we will have a couple of rehearsals to fix things. I did not feel well about it this time, I feel like I could do better things with my time maybe, not having fun and that is a problem because I shudder at th thought of building a new context with new people to grow in... maybe I am only tired and depressed from my weight but it feels kind of hopeless to try to feel good with those people as it has been a lot of critisism and no joy so far. Lots of changes up until the last moment and no communication - in the end I just gave up and did not bother. For the moment I donīt feel like trying to straighten things out either, I have said it a couple of times and it does not seem to help at all and then I might go with my programmed reaction that is to leave.... but I wonīt do that until we have done all the planned shows so I will just keep calm and do my best.

I will try to find something better to focus on to feel better, getting piano notes and learning to play one song really well might be a good goal for summer...
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CIRANDELLA 6/17/2013 7:18AM

    I applaud you for your willingness to stick it out in fulfilling your commitment to the theater...that sounds like a tiresome bunch of people you're working with! Try to keep your free time focused elsewhere until this ends, and I think that will lift your spirits. I wonder if, in midsummer in Sweden, that's the time when you have almost all daylight hours! That has always intrigued me :) Susan emoticon emoticon

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JOYINKY 6/17/2013 6:06AM

    One day at a time. Hugs.

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KASEYCOFF 6/17/2013 2:33AM

    I've always found it a lot easier to find the edges of the spectrum - black and white are clear, but that gray zone in the middle can be difficult, IMHO. Sometimes you just have to accept "good enough" and know that you've done your best.
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_VALEO_ 6/17/2013 1:57AM

    I hate that feeling, got the same one with my country dance club. For once, I didn't quit, I just did my thing, and I am proud of me for not blowing a fuse and for keeping my mouth shut---it would have made things worse... but I know I won't join them next year.

Good luck, do your best and do not let the others stress you out.

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