Sunday, June 16, 2013
Well, I have never written a blog before and to be honest, I haven't contributed to an online community either. I have been a member of Spark People since 2011 but have mostly spent time reading the articles.
So what has changed? I think I have finally come to a point where I have to do something different because what I have been doing isn't working. I am 265 pounds and although this isn't my top weight, it is far beyond where I would like to be. Like so many people, I have tried everything in the book - every diet program out there. The only one that really worked for me was Dr. Bernstein on which I lost 60 pounds. However, as soon as I stopped starving myself on the program, I gained 35 pounds back and ended up with gall bladder problems. Not fun.
So this time I want to slow the weight lose down, think long term and team eating well with exercise. This is a little challenging for me as I have a physical disability - Spina Bifida which limits the amount of physical activity I can do. So I am working with a physiotherapy/trainer 2x per week and am going to focus on "moving" as a first step. Any movement will be a positive change as I have become a couch potato. I spend most of my time outside of work, in my apartment on the coach watching t.v. It is so bad that I am seriously considering suspending my t.v. over the summer so that it forces me to come up with other things to do. This has also meant that I have been isolating myself from other people. The less I interact with others, the more I emotionally eat and the less I want to be around others. It is a awful cycle that I am determined to change.
The change has been instigated by the arrival of my 20th high school reunion (that tells you how old I am). It was a couple weeks ago and caused me months of anxiety. What would people think about me. While I have managed to complete my university degrees (yes I have a Masters as well as an undergraduate) I haven't managed my personal life as well. I am not married, don't have a boyfriend and have no kids and I am morbidly obese. Not much to help build my confidence to enter the reunion and proudly say, here I am. But I went. I wasn't the worst off and I wasn't the best but it made me think about what the last 20 years has been and whether I want the next 20 years to be the same or different.
I am choosing to have the next 20 years be different and today is the first step. So... here I go!