Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    GINAV2   43,067
SparkPoints
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints
 
 

Essentially starting over. Phooey / phew!


Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Well, I've been avoiding Spark like the plague recently because I'm a bit embarrassed by how far I have fallen. There's something about the type of insidious, persistent stress of university life that makes me pack on pounds; my weight is nearly back up where it was when I discovered Spark People. I haven't logged it in ages because I've inflated so rapidly that I feel like a balloon, but I need to turn it around so I guess it's time to get back to obsessively tracking every step I take and every morsel of food that goes into my mouth.

It's so, so frustrating to be at this point - I know how to eat healthy, and I know how good I feel when I exercise regularly, but I'm having the damndest time breaking back out of the cycle of Eating All The Things when I come home to my tiny apartment at the end of each day.

(Un)Fortunately, my puny grad student stipend will not support going out and buying a whole new wardrobe of larger clothes. This is serious motivation to get my act together and drop back down to where the clothes that I already own will actually fit again. I joined a CSA this year, so for the next five months I will have fresh local veggies delivered to my door every week. I can buy meat at the farmer's market, too, so that I can stay out of the grocery store and not be tempted by gluten free cookies or ice cream or too much fruit, so that's at least one step in the right direction.

I like doing research, I like the travel opportunities that I'm getting, and I like my colleagues, but UGH, academic servitude is wearing me out! I guess I just need to focus on my health, get my degree, and get back to The Real World with as few scars as possible.

Just keep swimming...

emoticon
SHARE

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MARYJEANSL 6/28/2013 1:39AM

  Good luck to you - you will get there if you keep trying and pick yourself up every time you fall.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BEAUTY_WITHIN 6/22/2013 7:49PM

    emoticon Don't be embarrased! We've all been there! I started Spark, lost 20 lbs or so, then fell of the wagon & gained 37! Now I'm back on track & doing well! You can do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHIRPGIRL 6/22/2013 8:05AM

    Hang in there! Giving up is not an option:) And, we are here for you...
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATSANDGARDENS 6/22/2013 6:35AM

    Congratulations in coming back to Spark. It takes courage to face ourselves. It sounds like you've made some really good decisions to eat heathly. I'm facing a similiar problem in that now I have a desk job and a longer commute. So much sitting...

We can do it. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEWTINK 6/21/2013 10:17AM

    Hang in there you will get it back on track emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAUROCHKA 6/21/2013 7:29AM

    I know how you feel. I've been away from Spark and have gained so much weight I'm pretty much at my heaviest ever!
I'm about to go on a cycle holiday so hoping that will kick start some motivation to get back on the fitness wagon and lose the weight I've gained!
Good luck to you with starting over!
Lxx

Report Inappropriate Comment
JIBBIE49 6/21/2013 7:06AM

    emoticon Spark Guy says the Spark Mail is read by one and one half million readers so today your blog is featured and YOU are an inspiration to MANY. Keep it up. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMYPLEGER62 6/21/2013 5:50AM

    You aren't starting over! You are on a journey that your knowledge has lead you emoticon back to what has worked today and yesterday.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSBOOBOOKITTY 6/20/2013 10:17PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JERICHO1991 6/20/2013 9:51PM

    "Just keep swimming...". I like that. I tell myself to hang in there, tomorrow will be better. I don't always do what I know I should either, but I am thankful for each new sunrise, and the opportunity to get right this time.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUSGETTENBY42 6/20/2013 8:10PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
THROOPER62 6/20/2013 6:11PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSIEMT 6/20/2013 4:52PM

    Gina, I can sympathize with you. When I lived alone I would come home and end up eating everything in sight as well. I am so very glad those days are over. Fortunately for me I have a diet and exercise buddy that I live with. My sister. We may drive each other crazy at times but that was one of the best moves we ever made. You will do this. I know that! If you ever need any help please don't hesitate to ask me or anyone!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DELLMEL 6/20/2013 4:09PM

  You can do this. Good luck.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PROPMAN1 6/20/2013 3:35PM

  Don't give up! Get back on that horse and start riding. Take it slow and have a positive attitude. No need for embarassment...it happens..it's life. Go forth with gusto and keep your goals in sight! You can do it!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SERENAMOM45 6/20/2013 3:08PM

  Life happens, doesn't it? Sure am glad to see you climbing back into the Sparkpeople boat with the rest of us. I have had two tries at Sparkpeople, and just recently had a short hiatus (caused by flu), and am getting back into exercising again, and recording all my information. Hang in there!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
OUTWITHABANG 6/20/2013 12:17PM

    You can do it!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEBZI740 6/20/2013 11:30AM

    If you did it before, you can do it again. Don't give up! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IDICEM 6/20/2013 11:11AM

  You've made that hard, first step to getting back to a healthy lifestyle. Sounds like you are doing a lot of things right. Keep it up!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARPROTH 6/20/2013 10:46AM

    I'm there with you every step - think of SparkPeople as your university for a healthy body degree.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SORLANDO21 6/20/2013 10:07AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SJKENT1 6/20/2013 9:34AM

    You took the best step forward for you! You are brave and courageous to be honest with yourself and what you really do want. Go for it!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LISA_FRAME 6/20/2013 9:20AM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PENOWOK 6/20/2013 8:04AM

    Hang in there...there is an end to this season of servitude... Then it's what YOU put together. In the meantime, you eating plan sounds great!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERYLHURT 6/20/2013 6:55AM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WATERDIAMONDS 6/20/2013 6:51AM

    Relate so much to your situation! Congrats for having realized what you're doing to yourself and making the decision to turn this show around NOW.

Best of success to you, with the academics and, more importantly, your health.


Report Inappropriate Comment
MONGO2TEN 6/20/2013 4:58AM

    Been having to kick myself back into gear....not being able to afford a new wardrobe is a serious motivator for me as well! We can do it!

~Nancy

Report Inappropriate Comment
MICHELE319 6/19/2013 3:57PM

  How's it going?

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARM1401 6/19/2013 2:12PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHIRE33 6/19/2013 9:48AM

    Wow. Your'e me. :D I fell off the wagon last August, as we switched to semesters from quarters and had tons and tons of stress. I even turned off the email notifications from Spark! Though I did check in periodically. It feels really good to be back, though. It's nice to know we're not alone. :)



Report Inappropriate Comment
LAWANDMUSIC 6/18/2013 6:45PM

    Congrats. You are making progress!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MZADAMS 6/18/2013 4:47PM

  Believe me I'm in this boat with you! Outgrew my clothes, not logging on Spark, not exercising, not eating right. And guess what, we have the same results! I've now made a lifestyle change that isn't just for right now. Maintaining is just as much work as losing weight, but it's worth the FIGHT. Stay encouraged! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PENUMBRA52 6/18/2013 12:48PM

    BEEN RIGHT THERE!! It is a long slog for me also. You hit the nail on the head it is hard to get back to it and hopefully I will remain committed this time, as I hope you will too we all backslide
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANGIE0310 6/18/2013 11:44AM

    I am right there with you. I'm not back to my highest weight but I'm way up from my lowest and no where near my goal. I have reset my sparkpage and I'm also starting over again. From reading the other comments on your post it's great to know that we aren't alone. Keep going!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELMA1913 6/18/2013 9:47AM

    Welcome back, you can do it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CIRANDELLA 6/18/2013 9:04AM

    Welcome back! And never feel embarrassed when you're taking the appropriate action. Congratulations!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FOZZIE_D 6/18/2013 7:43AM

  The thing I love about Spark is that even if I fall off the bandwagon every once in a while, I can trust that it's always there waiting for me when I am ready. Welcome back - you know you can do this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FIRECOM 6/18/2013 12:57AM

    How many times we fall is meaningless as long as we get up more than we fall.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MANILUS 6/18/2013 12:09AM

    With great certainty, getting the degree is worth it but a lot of work! Hang in there and take good care!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JCDUBEA63 6/17/2013 11:56PM

    emoticon on making the right decision to come back!!! So easy to gain and hard to lose!! emoticon emoticon !!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CM_GARDNER78 6/17/2013 11:45PM

    WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!!! There is nothing better than having someone come back to SP! :-) Don't worry about what's happened - focus on where you need to go! You've done it before - you WILL do it again! You got your SparkFriends behind you!!! :-) (((HUGS)))

Report Inappropriate Comment
GYPSYROVER 6/17/2013 11:28PM

    emoticon on coming back! We are all in this together! And we ALL struggle. I know you can do this! emoticon

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATRINAKRAUT 6/17/2013 11:09PM

    I am so with you! Wham! Easy come(Yes).. Easy go?(hell no!)

Report Inappropriate Comment
RINGRANGRUNG 6/17/2013 11:03PM

    In the same boat!!! Thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMDODSON12 6/17/2013 9:56PM

    I know you can do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOOSHKA19 6/17/2013 9:55PM

  Oh, sister. I hear ya. I have been avoiding it and I just plugged everything I ate today and guess what? 500 calories over! No wonder I've gained weight. Gotta get back on the horse and they say and don't look back.

You're not alone.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KNITTY_JESS 6/17/2013 5:38PM

    This is my second time. It happens. Don't feel bad about it. Honestly, one of my good friends has been the only way I've been able to stay on track. The thing to keep telling yourself is that you took that first step and came back. emoticon emoticon Not everyone comes back. Be proud of yourself. We're all here for you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MLDRLD 6/17/2013 5:08PM

    I agree; you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm proud of you for deciding to come back to SparkPeople and resuming the routines that you know will help you meet your goal. We all have life situations that come up and find ourselves back doing the old habits.

You can do it and welcome back!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KENZYE 6/17/2013 4:37PM

    There's nothing to be embarrased about. I congratulate you on your decision to come back, and more importantly, to own your situation. It's never too late! You can do this!

Glad to have you back!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CONNIEANZ 6/17/2013 4:27PM

  I just rejoined today too!!! I've gained back 10 of the 34 I lost, took over a year. I am NOT a happy camper with myself. I know that I can't just lose it and go back to the old ways....and I felt sooooooo good physically and had energy!! AAAARRGH! Anyway, I'm with you girl! So let's do it. I now have 50 lbs to go for goal!!! I'll keep in touch!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.
Member Comments Page (74 total):  1 2 Next >
 


Other Entries by GINAV2