It seems to me that there are several of my Spark friends who have been beating themselves up lately. We expect perfection from ourselves in an imperfect world. If everything was so perfect, we wouldn't be here now would we?! I see these negative thoughts creeping into our blogs or into our posts. We say "I didn't do this very well this week OR I didn't do that so I'm sorry I let everyone down. All too frequently I do the same thing to myself too. I am a glass half full kind of person. I am more of a pessimist than an optimist. I have to fight very hard at times to keep myself up instead of plummeting into the depths. If there is anything negative happening around me, I will be right there to take responsibility for it whether I had anything to do with it or not. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, OH, I'm sorry! My DH frequently says "What on earth are you sorry for?!" I'll say "I don't know." But somewhere in my head I am sure I must have done something wrong.
I believe we are creatures of habit and some habits are very difficult to break. My Spark Coach assignment today included an article about negative thinking and then I was to blog about - Your past does not define you, but it does shape you. Reflecting on the past can be cathartic and helpful throughout your journey. From my past experience "reflecting on my past" has never been very cathartic or helpful. Even though my past has shaped who I am and most likely my tendency toward "negative thinking" I don't think dwelling on it can change anything from the past. I believe I just need to focus on what I can do to chain the negative monster in my head now and into the future because I think accomplishing this will be instrumental in my long-term healthy life style success.
I generally don't like to post or blog about my negative thoughts, but I read some things in a SP article tonight that I think can be helpful to all of us Sparkies who beat ourselves up for being human. So I would like to leave you with the following things to think about:
*If you’re thinking that there’s something wrong with you, tell yourself the problem is in the situation—not in you!
*If someone I respect did exactly what I did, would I come to the same conclusion about them that I’m coming to about myself? We are always so much more understanding of our friends aren't we.
*If someone came to me asking for advice about how to deal with a problem, would I tell them it’s a lost cause? Of coarse not !
*How does my negative thinking help solve the problem? We all know our negative monster doesn't do anything to solve a problem.
*Are others facing the same problem or am I the only one facing it? What do other people think or do when they run into this problem? This is where my Spark friends are so important to me with sharing, blogging, and ideas.
*Do I see a general pattern in my life or am I blowing one incident out of proportion? Nothing is "all or nothing or forever"!
*If I put as much time and effort into thinking about a solution as I have fretting over the problem I will overcome this monster in no time at all !
s too !