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Chaining The Monster In Our Heads

Saturday, June 15, 2013

It seems to me that there are several of my Spark friends who have been beating themselves up lately. We expect perfection from ourselves in an imperfect world. If everything was so perfect, we wouldn't be here now would we?! I see these negative thoughts creeping into our blogs or into our posts. We say "I didn't do this very well this week OR I didn't do that so I'm sorry I let everyone down. All too frequently I do the same thing to myself too. I am a glass half full kind of person. I am more of a pessimist than an optimist. I have to fight very hard at times to keep myself up instead of plummeting into the depths. If there is anything negative happening around me, I will be right there to take responsibility for it whether I had anything to do with it or not. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, OH, I'm sorry! My DH frequently says "What on earth are you sorry for?!" I'll say "I don't know." But somewhere in my head I am sure I must have done something wrong.

I believe we are creatures of habit and some habits are very difficult to break. My Spark Coach assignment today included an article about negative thinking and then I was to blog about - Your past does not define you, but it does shape you. Reflecting on the past can be cathartic and helpful throughout your journey. From my past experience "reflecting on my past" has never been very cathartic or helpful. Even though my past has shaped who I am and most likely my tendency toward "negative thinking" I don't think dwelling on it can change anything from the past. I believe I just need to focus on what I can do to chain the negative monster in my head now and into the future because I think accomplishing this will be instrumental in my long-term healthy life style success.

I generally don't like to post or blog about my negative thoughts, but I read some things in a SP article tonight that I think can be helpful to all of us Sparkies who beat ourselves up for being human. So I would like to leave you with the following things to think about:

*If you’re thinking that there’s something wrong with you, tell yourself the problem is in the situation—not in you!

*If someone I respect did exactly what I did, would I come to the same conclusion about them that I’m coming to about myself? We are always so much more understanding of our friends aren't we.

*If someone came to me asking for advice about how to deal with a problem, would I tell them it’s a lost cause? Of coarse not !

*How does my negative thinking help solve the problem? We all know our negative monster doesn't do anything to solve a problem.

*Are others facing the same problem or am I the only one facing it? What do other people think or do when they run into this problem? This is where my Spark friends are so important to me with sharing, blogging, and ideas.

*Do I see a general pattern in my life or am I blowing one incident out of proportion? Nothing is "all or nothing or forever"!

*If I put as much time and effort into thinking about a solution as I have fretting over the problem I will overcome this monster in no time at all !

emoticon and my emoticons too !

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • 2BEHEALTHY2014
    I think we all fall into the trap of negative thinking. You're fit,we are not perfect and shouldn't expect to be. Good blog!
    1714 days ago
  • BILLB000
    You are so right about the prevalence of negative self talk. And it is within our power to speak differently to ourselves. Maybe be a little kinder and gentler. The words we use on ourselves can have a lot of power. Your blog is a terrific lesson. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
    1714 days ago
    This is so true. The funny thing is - I'm a "the glass is half full" person and dh is "the glass is half empty" kinda person. I do beat myself up sometimes too - I think we all do. Sometimes we need to just realize we are human - and meant to make mistakes. It is not the mistakes that matter - as much as what you do with what you have learned from them.

    You are awesome, my friend - and thanks for the reminder!

    1715 days ago
    Excellent blog. My husband pointed out when we were dating how often I say "I'm sorry". I find it funny that I have been doing this all my life. Growing up, if we said we were sorry, mom would say, "no aren't otherwise you wouldn't have done it." You would think that would have shut down apologizing for me.

    I always try to keep that thought in my head, what would I say to a friend expressing the same negative feelings about themselves and try to talk myself out of whatever I'm feeling at the moment.

    You are a great spark friend!

    1715 days ago
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