Saturday, June 15, 2013
On Tuesday, I ran a little over 6 miles. I admit I was just avoiding the conditioning exercises the Cross Country team was doing - I tried a few and thought, "Nope." Then I just ran around the track. I admit the reason was the realization that adolescents can't help but laugh at the slow, much thinner than she was a year ago but still overweight, teacher. I admit I walked the few yards I passed them every lap, too.
When the team took to the trail, I joined them and took the freshmen girls on their two mile. I had to walk some there, too, but I kept telling the kids to keep going and then had to run faster to catch up with them, so I should have just ran their pace the whole way.
The next day, I went to the cardio machines followed by the weight room, but found it wasn't as hard as the running, so I joined the team the next day again. I tried the conditioning, in spite of the football players standing behind us. The kids are basically good kids. They'll laugh, but I know they're proud of me, too. And to be perfectly honest, I would laugh at me, too. I am so very uncoordinated. The coach had us doing plank push-ups. You start in the modified plank position and then one arm at a time go up to the push-up and then back down. I just couldn't get the alternating which arm you go up and down on. At least my sprints were faster than the other mother who was working out with them. When the team hit the trail, I hit the cardio room, but took a harder routine. I just felt like doing something I felt more competent at, and I didn't want to ruin my phone in the rain.
Yesterday, my whole family went down to the off-campus XC run. I did my own run - and it was the WORST run ever. I walked faster on the trail on Sunday than I ran yesterday. I felt so discouraged - plus the gnats were terrible. They commit suicide by flying into your face - you come back covered in little black bodies; I just know I breathed a few. Yuck.
The thing is, though, just like I can't let my clumsiness and lack of grace doing conditioning exercises stop me, I can't let my discouragement at running so slowly and painfully stop me either. I am just figuring this all out. I need to keep going.