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feeling discouraged

Saturday, June 15, 2013

I think I talked to Shawn for like 30 min last night. I even did the 'I think I'm going to go to bed " AT 10:30PM! And he decided to stay up till after 11:30pm. I fell asleep pissed off. Woke up at 5pm. So now Brandi and I are watching Bones Season 1. It would be different if he acted like he wanted to spend time with me or talk to me but it seems like he really doesn't give a sh!t. So, whatever. He van do what he wants. Besides his brother's whole freaking family is coming over day. I think I'm expected to go swimming in the 60°F pool. No ones told me what we're doing yet. Per usual. I'd rather stay up here and exercise. But I'm not allowed because then I'm told I'm being "anti-social". So many rules. And I can't help but see the tie in of me being responsible for cleaning the living room and all the dishes to be when I gained weight. Or I could be paranoid.

However he did say that he hasn't been happy in awhile. He couldn't tell me when, just that it happened when I started being "down" all the time. I recall starting to be unhappy when I started getting migraines 3-4 times a week. Then getting my gall bladder removed (surgeon told me it should have been removed 1.5 yrs ago). Then I was in horrible stomach pain for another 2 months.,was in the ER and my sodium and magnesium dropped to the floor and I was admitted for 3 days. They did a scope down into my stomach the last day and found out I had erosive gastritis (stomach lining was being eaten away by acid) and I had a bad case of GERD. That was followed by a 2 month migraine. Then after that broke a year of 3-7 migraines a week which went up to 5-7 a week or 2-3 day migraines.

It was then that I had an MRI with contrast and discovered I had had a stroke at some point (this was last August. No symptoms before, during or after except for odd forgetfulness. And a small chunk of dead tissue in my left cerebellum. So yeah, I've been a little "down". And the gall bladder thing, I was in the e ER the day before my 30th birthday, I was at Shawn's in agony on my birthday, and had emergency gall bladder surgery the day after.

Sorry this is so long. Just needed to vent. emoticon

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  • LARISSA238
    *hugs* I hope that the doctors can help with your migraines.. I have them sometimes but not that often. I know how much they suck, though. I hope you can have some peace.
    1710 days ago
  • PEGGIE57
    I feel sorry that you have been going through so much. I have migraines most days like you do. They tried meds, but they made me tired. Having gall bladder problems isn't much fun either. I will keep you in my prayers.
    1711 days ago
    You have been through so much. It's ok to vent, we are here for support.
    1711 days ago
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