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    MISSA526   110,952
100,000-149,999 SparkPoints

Old habits coming back... Could use some support

Friday, June 14, 2013

Things have been really stressful this month. Relationship problems between Shawn & I, money stress, family stress, Cedar Point was my get away and for 3 days I didn't think about any of it! But now reality is back and after dealing with my problems by eating too much and not exercising, well things are going in the opposite direction. Food has never been just food too me. And I find now that I'm having difficulty eating much at all. I just am not hungry. I'm not purging thank God but I'm not eating enough calories. And I think it's my way of dealing with stress right now. Nothing is stable in my life and I think this is subconsciously how I'm dealing with it. I was anorexic from 8th grade through senior year of high school. And I've always seen found as the enemy or on a good day a necessary evil.

I'm trying to eat more but, nothing even sounds good. But the lack of food is sporadic. I'll go a couple days eating not much then I'll eat normally for a few and back and forth. And I know it's playing hell on my metabolism. A big part of my stress is I feel like my boyfriend is treating me like a burden. It hurts but not as much as you would think.

Before I would have cried and blamed myself. Now I know he's just looking for a scape goat. But I am stronger than this. I'm just a little concerned about the eating. Time to go to my chiropractor.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
TLG71567 6/14/2013 11:31PM

    Sorry you are going through such a tough time. Remember that you are worth taking care of whether your boyfriend think so or not and if he doesn't then it's time to move on. You deserve better than that. No one should be treated like they are a burden.
I have a poster in my classroom that says, "Respect yourself. If you don't no one else will." You have to take care of yourself. Eat right and do what is best for you. As my mother always says, "This too shall pass." You can get through this. emoticon

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LARISSA238 6/14/2013 8:48PM

    You can overcome this! Even if food doesn't sound good, you should still find something good to eat. Don't eat a lot because that will trigger the urge to purge, but just eat enough to get you until your next meal. You can do this!

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JUDITHANNIE 6/14/2013 2:45PM

  Be true to yourself, you are worth it!!!!!!!

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