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How to deal with ...

Friday, June 14, 2013

My father is obese. I would say he got an BMI around 34, even if he does some sport like cyclingtours and once a week some all-round-stretching-things. In the winter time he does a lot of down hill skiing.

So I was with my gp today to discuss my weight loss problem.
He agreed to help. So I will have a blood sample taken in 3 weeks time (cause it has to be in the second week of the menstrual-cycle) and will subscribe me some bioidentical hormones if need.

I came home and told my mum about it when my father said:
"But, don't get me wrong, you eat A LOT for Lunch! The masses YOU eat would last a normal person for the whole day!"

"But dad, I eat a big bowl of salad with protein, in all around 400 calories."

"Oh come one, thats A LOT!!! I eat only one bun for lunch!"
Yes. One bun. And some fatty sausages. And cheese. and on top of it at minimum 500 - 700 cal of cakes or cookies.

I'm really hurt about that.
And I do not know how to deal with it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1353 days ago
    I understand the hurt because I read an attitude that is disrespectful. But I also think that it might be part of his defence, and partly good old ignorance. He might be too uneducated in the matter...
    1586 days ago
    Thanks a lot!

    I really thought we had a "better" relationship. When we moved back, he had to learn that I'm not a child anymore. He always wants the best for me and for my family. But that means his way ;) I do not blame him for that.

    Normally I'm "stronger", but at the moment my stress level is too high.

    I will eat clean, cause its good for ME. I do not eat to please somebody.
    1586 days ago
  • CAMAEL100
    His issue not yours!!! I know he is your father but that does not mean you have to agree with or take on board everything he says. You are an adult now and you know you are doing the right thing. He probably has not even caught up with the protein/veg thing yet.

    And I am saying this from the point of view of a 47 year old who is still learning not to get upset by the 'well meaning' things her mother says to her!!!!!

    I think it is all part of the process to allow ourselves to discard comments that are not useful and not internalize them.
    1587 days ago
  • BRANDI1809
    I agree with CANDACEMM. Just you keep doing what you are doing. We are all here to support each other so use us.
    1587 days ago
    Maybe your father doesn't want to realize that he could be part of the problem .... We model our lives after the way that we've been taught. You've seen your father eat unhealthy things and now that you're eating healthy he might be jealous. It takes a lot of commitment to make a healthy lifestyle change - keep up your good work. You'll find that people make comments that are hurtful because they're envious of your choice to change your life.

    Keep your head up and stick with it. emoticon
    1587 days ago
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