Thursday, June 13, 2013
I was in a sour mood all day. It just didnít get much better the whole way through. This morning I did some banking and paid some bills as it was Pay Day. I had breakfast and then puttered around. I finally did a Core Rhythms DVD for lower body strength. I did it two days ago and it was killer. This time it was not so bad. Mom said that she heard a squeal on their car and was concerned since she needs it for the next few days. Dad and I never heard anything last Saturday when we went to clean my brotherís cottage so we went for a drive to Kensington. We still did not hear any squeal but got some coffees out of the trip. I felt bad about skipping my workout yesterday so after supper I went for a walk/jog. It was pure torture after the leg workout this morning. What was I thinking? I am doing the Beginner 5 K program through the Runkeeper app and I did that workout because it was yesterdayís workout and also I get a little more excited about interval workouts. This was nothing to get excited about. It was so hard and I was so slow. Anyway. I did it and got through it. I will more than likely repeat it because I know I can do better. I just wonít do lower body strength training earlier that day.
Looking back, it really wasnít a bad day. I was just in a really bad mood. I am so frustrated with my life. I know that being unhappy with my life isnít completely horrible. It shows me that I need to change. I am changing though. I am eating healthier, tracking calories, and working out. I am frustrated with my progress on the scale. I am tracking every penny, being quite stingy quite often and I am not happy with the progress of my debt reduction. The thing is that I just have to keep doing what Iím doing and be patient. Instead of being frustrated, I need to learn to appreciate what I have right now. Some days that is easy and other times it is pretty hard. I certainly never imagined only having my daughter half of the time. Yet I am happy that she has two parents that love her and have a great relationship with her. Also, since we no longer live together, can get along as well. Sometimes I can see why people stay together for the children in a marriage. It really was different when we lived in the same town. I could see her whenever I wanted. This is tough. I am not regretting the separation and long drawn-out divorce because of lack of funds. We definitely do get along much better now for Lavinia's sake and can because we don't have to live with each other.
You know youíre 60ís old school when you still think ďMonday, MondayĒ and ďCalifornia DreaminíĒ by the Momas and Papas are quintessential sixties classics. I LOVE the Mamas and the Papas. I used to sing California Dreaming on every road trip I took to Los Angeles. I think I had about eight in total, driving from Bangor to Los Angeles. It took 5 days of straight driving. Those were the days I travelled in a van with a group and performed plays in churches, schools, nursing homes. Our base was in LA and we were sent to our touring area from there. I actually didnít mind living out of a van but it all depended on who you were stuck in the van with for those four months straight that made it a great experience or just miserable. I did have some great times though.