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Oh SH! The Fat Girl Is Winning!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

She shows up from time to time trying to steal my shine and this time she's here with a vengeance. I thought I'd buried her fat a## but I realize she just goes into hiding and then comes out for surprise visits. I'll be minding my own business just Sparking, tracking, working out and making progress. Then out of nowhere...BOOM! The inner fat girl takes over and uses her fat super powers to cripple my efforts. She comes bearing gifts too! Cheetos, brownies, french fries and mmm...Moscato. She LOVES Moscato! Well newsflash: Moscato+Cheetos=FAT.
Then comes the shame. You know when you fall off your plan and you KNOW you should do better but you KEEP ON making unhealthy choices? All of a sudden you want to go into hiding. You back off on Sparking, tracking and even interacting with your teams thinking you can hide. Well...you can't hide and actually if you do the wrong stuff for too long there will me more of you to be seen because you'll expand instead of shrinking like you want to. emoticon

I know all of this. Yet I sit here having had Cheetos, a brownie AND Moscato today. WHY? Because I'm being lazy and it all tasted good on my palate. I'm fighting her but this week, Ms. Fatty has been winning. Looking at my WL tracker it's hard to even believe I made progress like I did so far. Once you've been off track for even one week your body FEELS super fat like it did when you started, even if you aren't physically that big anymore. Feeling fat makes you act fat. I'm acting real fat right now.

Today I wore a form-fitting dress to work (which I rarely do) and got SO many compliments about how good I look. So ironic. I had to keep it real and say Thanks but tell people not to gush too hard cause a sista been eatin Cheetos on the low. emoticon

Ok, I just had to vent. I invite all visitors to my blogs but please do not comment asking me if I'm depressed or on a binge or anything like that. It's not that serious. I'm committed to a healthy lifestyle but we all experince ebbs and flows and a bit of burnout now and then emoticon.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FEISTYOWL 10/17/2013 11:45AM

    Boy, I can relate to this!! I read an article once that talked about how their is research that says "comfort" foods really do boost chemicals in our bodies that make us feel better. And I thought, well that explains it. Doesn't change it, but I thought no wonder I do that. Helped me be a little more cognizant about it also, knowing it would boost my mood, but only temporarily helped me get that I'm not crazy, it does make a difference. I just need to realize that that doesn't always help - sometimes the boost wins out, sometimes it doesn't. meh.

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GOING-STRONG 6/20/2013 11:24PM

    Sorry about the derailment but sounds like you are back on track. I fight binges and went for more than a year without one. Got a little cocky thinking all that business was behind me when BAM it hit with a vengeance. Probably binged 3-4 times in a month and was really feeling like a failure. BLC22 has helped a lot getting me back on plan, logging, posting, etc.
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I think that little binge demon will be something I have to be careful around the rest of my life.... sigh....


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ZERO2HERO 6/16/2013 10:02AM

    So she may have won a little, one day? You still look good in a form fitting dress and the beauty of midnight - unlike in every fairytale, ever - is a new day starts and she isn't going to win THAT day.

I can totally empathize though, I need to be "all or nothing" to a considerable extent to "feel good". I'm trying to reserve calories/portion for those guilty pleasures though. So pre-plan that glass of Moscato and sip it slowly, savoring the day won by the healthy girl.

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ZIGGY122 6/15/2013 8:09PM

    emoticon LOL thanks for sharing

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FITNHEALTHYKAL 6/14/2013 7:42AM

    Seriously?!* There's no fat girl except in your mind. The hot girl strutting that form fitting dress in some seriously sexy shoes is the one that we know! emoticon Bring it baby! You are LIVING and that isn't a diet; it's a lifestyle. You gotta grab all the gusto you can and if you are desirous of some cheetos and moscato, ENJOY every single morsel and taste girlfriend. That is LIVING your story.... emoticon

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MURPHI13 6/14/2013 12:03AM

    emoticon Loved this! Pleasant way to end my night! I feel this way quite often and always hate to admit it, but I agree sometimes it just needs to be said! emoticon

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CHOCOHOLIC2276 6/13/2013 9:49PM

    We all have that inner fat girl but we also have that skinny girl trying to break out of the chunkamunk suit.

You lost 1 battle, don't let her win the war. In the end YOU"LL win- health, confidence, cuter clothes, and just plain loving how your rockin' body will look. Now.... emoticon

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-DIAMOND 6/13/2013 9:46PM

    You got me giggling!! Great blog!

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DEB9021 6/13/2013 9:35PM

    Great blog! We all have our days, and that's ok. Sometimes you just don't want to make the best choices all the time. Clearly you're making good choices most of the time, or you wouldn't have come this far. It just becomes a problem if you don't face up to it ... try to blame someone else or pretend you had no choice. Just own it, and make that fat girl face the consequences for her choices. Workout, here I come! Cheetos, be gone!

emoticon Have an awesome, healthy weekend!

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PARASELENIC 6/13/2013 9:23PM

    skeeweeeee...

the fat girl is totally NOT winning.

the fat girl would not have allowed you to wear that outfit, nor accept any compliments....

i suspect that the real you is slowly coming through this spark vs. fat battle.


the real you... she eats cheetos, because sometimes, DAMN those are exactly what you want.

The real you.... she eat freggies and works out and then has a little moscato every once in a while, because life is worth living and enjoying and you are not relegated to sensible choices.

Sensible choices exist to define the day to day, and the insensible is there for the enjoyment of being exactly NOT sensible.

the reason that you could rock that outfit is because you are progessing towards the new, real, true skeewee, which is not the perfect juicing every day only fresh veg all the time person... it's the real person who eats the good things mostly and enjoys the hell out of the not so good things.

You are doing awesome on this journey. Enjoy your moscato as much as you enjoy your next weigh in, which will be realistic and doable for life, not until you burn out on some weird diet that is totally unattainable daily.




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MEKNOX 6/13/2013 9:23PM

    This was a great post!!! I loved it and I completely understand, because that's how I was ALL last week - and I gained 5# - which scared Ms. Fatty back into hiding. Why do we all eat Cheetos when we fall off the wagon? emoticon

I'm glad you have a sense of humor about it and realize that weight loss for some of us is definitely an ebb and flow process. Don't let the Cheetos win!

Comment edited on: 6/13/2013 9:36:14 PM

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PJ2222 6/13/2013 9:05PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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INSPIRATIONAL3 6/13/2013 9:04PM

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