Thursday, June 13, 2013
Here I am again. My daughter (Maria) is now 19 months old, and my son (Marcus) is 3 months old. Things are definitely busy around here!
I'm sad to say that I'm up to my heaviest weight again. Grrr. I suppose having 2 babies in less than 2 years is a bit of an excuse to have some extra pounds on, but I'm ready to get rid of them. I currently weigh 214, and am setting a goal to be at 160 by Marcus' first birthday which is exactly 9 months from now.
His birthday is going to come whether I make changes or not. I keep saying I'll eat better and exercise "as soon as [fill in the blank]". What am I waiting for?? There is NEVER going to be a good time to lose weight. It's going to be a huge challenge no matter when I do it.
Why is it so hard? Does everyone find it this hard? A friend of mine once told me that she became the most healthy and the least obsessed with food when she stopped thinking about it so much and stopped making up a bunch of rules to follow. That sounds great to me in theory, but I'm not sure how to put it into practice.
In 9 months, if I'm the same weight as I am now (or heavier), I'm going to be very disappointed in myself. I will feel unhealthy, tired, unattractive, and uncomfortable. At Marcus' birthday party, I probably won't feel good in the clothes I'm wearing, and I won't want my picture taken, or want to be in any videos. That would be really sad. I want to want to be in them!
Wow... to get to my goal weight by then, I would have to average almost 1.5 lbs per week! Yikes! I can't be wasting any more time.
I keep hoping I'll be able to lose the weight without tracking what I eat or counting calories. I'm slowly coming to the realization that that won't happen. I really don't want to count calories forever, but maybe I'll have to. I heard someone suggest once to count calories until you reach your goal weight. Then stop counting but still eat sensibly and keep getting weighed. If you go 5 lbs over your goal weight, start counting calories again until you get them off. That sounded pretty reasonable to me. (And a good motivation to stay on track because counting calories is very inconvenient to do!)
Last year, I lost 27 pounds in 10 weeks counting calories and using SparkPeople. I know I could do it again. I just have to make up my mind to do it.
My kids deserve to have a healthy Mom.