Wednesday, June 12, 2013
This week has found me in a position that I haven't been in for some time.....16 years, to be exact. You see, 16 years ago, I decided to put down the bottle and start facing my demons. Until this week, I thought I was in a great place....I was happy, my life was less stressful than it has been for years, and I was feeling really good about myself and getting a lot of attention from the fairer sex for once in my life. But not everything is as it appears. I've always had a love/hate relationship with alcohol. I love the taste, but I hate the after-effects. After staying away from alcohol completely for almost 10 yrs, I decided that I could handle it in moderation. And I did when I was still married. I might have 1 or 2 beers or a mixed drink once every couple of months and I never got drunk. In the last 3 weeks, I have gone through three 750ml bottles of whiskey, two pints of Captain Morgan, and a 6pk of beer. I know that to some, that might not seem like a lot for a 3-week period, but for a recovering alcoholic trying to practice moderation, that's an abominable amount.
Last night, the love of my life called me to task on it and reminded me that she wants me around for as long as she can have me, but I needed to slow down on the alcohol. She wasn't condescending, she didn't nag, she came to me in love and asked me to do it for her. And I agreed. Not only is that not a place I ever want to go again, but I can't achieve my goals if I keep it up. And my goals definitely include being with her as long as the Good Lord lets me have her.