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need to pick me up


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

well it's been 9 months since I wrote a blog, and I jut felt the need to vent a bit today, things have been pretty rough the last 2 months, I put my back out 4/18/12 again, and couldn't bounce back, as a person who has had back surgery it is just as physically painful as it is mentally, I instantly reverted back into the afraid to do anything, in fear if I move just so it will lock up again... it's a horrid way to feel let me tell ya. I just had my second mri since this happened this time with contrast and I am waiting to hear from the surgeon to see what we need to do next. in the meantime I have been having these bad headache issue I went to the dr and found out my blood pressure was high and she said I am pre diabetic, as someone who grew up thin and athletic and healthy hearing all this just set me in to a deep depression last week, I thought there's just nothing I can do I need to loose weight to work on this but I cant loose weight in this much pain... I don't feel like what I do at the gym is enough but yet I cant do more... it's such a mind bother right now to know I have lost 44 lbs from my heaviest and now have all these issues, I don't feel like I have lost anything... and my husband is about to cross 100 lbs lost since Nov. it's hard to live with I am so happy for him, but yet it makes me feel like I'm not good enough like left behind I guess... I just need to pick myself up and keep moving... and I just needed to get all this negative feeling out... I always say I am fine with slow and steady I know my battle isn't easy with all the meds I take for my thyroid and back problems, but weeks and weeks of zeros need to change :) I need to get a handle on my stress and sleeping and know I haven't given up and I am still trying I will get there
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
BOBOBOBBI 8/3/2013 11:29AM

    1) You are AMAZING and should be SO PROUD of how far you have come!
2) As happy as I am for Jake-- he SUCKS! lol
3) Get in that pool girly! It burns so much more calories than you realize! I have taken a few water classes if you would like suggestions on work-out ideas!
4) Miss you bunches!

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KBLASEN 6/20/2013 4:43PM

    You can do this! You are doing great! Have you tried swimming for exercise? You can start slow and build up with laps or water classes...it won't hurt your back or cause more than minor soreness (& if there is you can combat it between the hot tub and sauna)...that's what I mostly do for exercise...

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PERFECTVELVET 6/12/2013 11:47AM

    You're in a rough spot. With chronic pain and thyroid issues to boot, it's no wonder you are stressed out. But look at what you've accomplished already. You've lost 44 pounds! Do you know how many people on here would kill to lose 44 pounds? Raise your head high!

I developed hypothyroidism after giving birth, so I understand the struggle. You're definitely not alone.

Exercise is good for you, but remember it's only 20% of the journey. 80% is what you put in your mouth. I strongly suggest you start tracking every BLT (bite, lick, taste). If you're like me, I think you'll be surprised at how much you're eating without even realizing it! Try it for a week. Maybe you're not losing the way you want because you're not counteracting the calories in.

Weight loss is so, so hard, but please don't give up. It's also very rewarding in the end. You can do it!

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