Wednesday, June 12, 2013
My sister and her boyfriend have been together for nearly 4 years now. I've known him since middle school and they had crushes on each other for nearly all of high school. They were both so shy that they didn't date for nearly 10 years after high school.
In a lot of ways, they are perfect for each other and they have such a great story. Who doesn't want their high school crush to look them up as soon as they come home from their tour in the army? They are both shy, awkward, and often say the wrong thing at the wrong time.
In other ways, though, I don't think that he is a good match for her. I am 2 years older than her, so I admit that I'm biased and protective. He was and is her first love. She dated when he went away, but never fell in love. When they first got together, he had an affair with his ex. In a way, that was a great thing for their relationship, as he realized which one he really wanted to be with. But still, he cheated on my sister.
My sisters and I grew up poor, but with good manners. We are far from being stuck up. We are a very close family, though, which is something that he did not grow up with. He grew up a single mom that was addicted to drugs. He does not do drugs at all, but he was not raised well and not in a family environment.
As I said, he was in the army and went to Iraq. He came back with PTSD. I try to be sensitive, especially since he is a veteran, but I'm getting tired of the snide remarks. He once said in front of me that I look disgusting and if she ever looks like me, he'll make her get liposuction. His ex had that procedure and a boob job, so I don't doubt it.
We all went to the movies a couple of weeks ago and he said in front of my daughter that my kids smell bad and the whole theater could smell them. They didn't even sit near us. It feels like he's trying to alienate himself from our family, and her. He's made similar remarks to the rest of my family, though I seem to be the main target of it.
I talked to her about it tonight since I feel like I'm going to explode. He admits some of his comments, though denies others. Now he's a jerk and a liar in my book. I told her that I wish that she was with someone that had better manners and morals. I was raised to take the high road, so when he says such awful things to me and especially about my kids, it's hard not to share my "helpful" opinions of him. I did tell them to my sister. Unfortunately, the apple isn't falling too far from the tree in his case.
I know he loves her and treats her well. I just wish that she was with someone nice.