Tuesday, June 11, 2013
I don't have to drive to the call center for the rest of the week. I am so grateful.
I still haven't exercised and I haven't been tracking my eating. I have also been a little depressed.
I miss zumba and I miss exercise but after a few days, it's as though I get stuck in a rut, and I start to want to sleep and rest a little bit more. Then today I realized I was starting to feel a little depressed. I am tempted to not go to Zumba tonight but I am going to force myself to go. I know I will feel better as soon as I get back into the swing of things.
I figure, I was about due for a misstep or two or three. Losing this weight - this time around - has been pretty easy. It's been a joyful journey all around.
Last week I learned a lot how much more challenging it is to have to go in to work every day. For me, just having to be around that many people, is a little exhausting.
I am thankful.... so very thankful for my circumstances.
Back in the 80s I had a therapist who believed exercise was the answer to depression, anger, and stuffed unexpressed feelings. Because of his influence on me, I was fascinated by the idea of emotions as energy, measurable energy, and I suppose I still am fascinated by that idea. It was why, at one point, I wanted to be a movement therapist. I believed, or speculated that every thought, every movement, every touch, every emotion had energy and that this energy flowed through us and around us - and that depression and bad feelings were a result of this energy being misdirected, unexpressed, held in, and not used in productive ways.
When thinking of my experiences this last week or so - I am reminded of my therapist and my own past musings - some of them veering into the science fiction/fantasy category - and reminded that exercise and moving our bodies is about more than burning a certain number of calories. It can be, in a way, like stepping into what I imagine as streams and pools of energy swirling all around us - it's like stepping into - that which lies beneath the material world. It's almost another form of meditation.
Okay ... I may have departed from what would seem like a 'normal' train of thought .... but.... oh well...
I'm off to zumba soon.
I hope everyone is having a great week and a great day!!