hello, my name is shanna and i'm a self-saboteur
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
"Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating in the face of weight concerns, and self-injury such as cutting. These acts may seem helpful in the moment, but ultimately undermine us, especially when we engage in them repeatedly."
for the longest time i thought i had a fear of success, which i'm sure i do, but today i realized i was constantly sabotaging myself. i'm sure the two go hand in hand. for instance, in may i was going to start eating better. i bought a bunch of healthy food, prepped stuff, etc. i ate awesome for 3.5 days. i felt wonderful! i was excited to see what the scale would say at the end of the month. heck, i was excited to see what the scale said after 3 days (-2 lbs)! so what happened on the other half of that day? well, i went out to dinner and ate way too much. then i drank way too much all weekend. those 2 lbs turned into half a pound. and my healthy eating goals went down the drain in the shower that followed the weigh in.
no booze june? yeah, got scared of what the scale was going to say monday morning so sunday turned into june the zero and out came the booze. i told myself it was the stress of a family situation i had to deal with sunday afternoon. a completely weak excuse to give up on a goal. no change in weight on the scale. i knew there could have been too. i got a lot of fitness mintues in and the results of the lack of booze calories would have made a difference. so here i am, back on track and hoping i learned my lesson. just have to survive a father's day bbq!
the worst thing i ever did was a few years ago when i was 5 lbs from my goal weight. i had lost 30 lbs and so close to my goal. i remember stepping on the scale & seeing that 150 and feeling so amazing. then i just stopped. before i knew it i had gained that 30 lbs plus another 50 or so.
why do i have this fear of success? why do i sabotage myself?
this website seems to have a lot of info. i'm hoping i can learn something from it and the other sites i found. i have all the tools i need to succeed, i know what i need to do to lose the weight. i have the motivation and willpower. but something in me stops me from doing what i know i need to do.
anyone else have this problem?