Shock and tears
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
I am enormously proud of the 12 pounds I have taken off. My clothes feel better, my knees hurt less, and I no longer get heartburn. I even like what I see in the mirror a little more now.
This weekend I went to a baby shower. I ate reasonably well. I over did it a bit on lunch, but I went really light on dinner because I just wasn't that hungry. On Monday I saw some of the pictures.
I nearly burst into tears. I didn't recognize myself. The woman in the picture was so much bigger than the woman I see in the mirror. I still don't know how that can be. I know the camera adds at least 10 pounds because it's taking a 3D image and making it 2D, but this was way beyond what I expected to see.
Honestly, my self-esteem is a little deflated. I've been offered cookies and candy at work, and there was even one time ice cream could have been in the picture. I thought of the woman in the picture and decided I didn't want them. It's just too hard to look at her, and I can't encourage her to stay where she is. I want her to look like how I feel.
It's been a rough few days since this, and the weather isn't helping either. blech.