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    CARPEDIEM369   18,376
15,000-19,999 SparkPoints

Weight Gain & Suicide

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Until yesterday, it hadn't really dawned on me before that I eat as a way to keep from thinking about killing myself. WOW! Interesting to see that I've been using food as a tool to stay safe - very skewed & counter-productive.

By February I had gotten down to 243 lbs (from 315 in 2011). But when I weighed in @ the doctor's office yesterday, I was @ 267 on her scale (260 on mine). +24 lbs in just 4 months is what made me realize that I was depressed - the weight gain vs actually being in touch w/ my emotions was my indicator. GOOD GRIEF!

Today I'll make an appointment to get back into counseling & see if I can get this turned around.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MELYMOUSE3 6/11/2013 9:57PM

    Isnt it amazing when we realize what it is that causes us to eat! Its like a giant light bulb went off emoticon ! I am so proud of you for facing your demons and understanding what your trials are. Great job on getting back into counseling and I will keep you in my prayers. You are beautiful and I can tell have a truly wonderful personality, never give up! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CARPEDIEM369 6/11/2013 2:31PM

    Many thanks for your kind thoughts, words, & concern! I didn't even realize that this depression was creeping up on me. Clearly I'm extremely out of touch w/ my emotions! I just phoned for a therapy appointment - ONWARD!

I hope that others who use food to keep from feeling or thinking about things that are upsetting them will chime in...

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PINKYYSUEE 6/11/2013 2:09PM

    So glad your seeking help! We want you to stay around!!

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NEELIXNKES 6/11/2013 1:49PM

    emoticon Glad that you came to the realization and are able/ready to seek help. Take care of you!

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