Tuesday, June 11, 2013
I am in an unhealthy relationship. It's hard to explain to people why I am staying in it. It is like a never ending battle of wills and I feel like I am the one always making compromises.
When he is nice to me, its wonderful! I feel so happy and so good about myself. I think this is the way life should be and I will do anything for him. He makes me feel attractive and worthy and gives me confidence.
Sometimes, though, he isn't nice to me. I don't know why. I have been doing everything I am supposed to, he just is never happy. He makes me feel so bad about myself. Like I am a failure, ugly and fat and someone no one would want. If he is being mean I have no confidence and I have no energy--I feel sad all the time.
So I am going to break up with him. Sure he will always be part of my life, we have a long shared history together, but we aren't a couple anymore. I will see him once in a while and he will wonder why he treated me so bad and do what ever he can to try to get me back. Nope! I am going to define my life on my own terms. I am going to push him under the shelves in the bathroom and just take him out from under there once in a while to see how he is doing and then I am going to put him back. Going to get on to doing things, good things, things that he is no part of, like going out and being happy and sitting in the sun and enjoying the blessing that is being alive!
Bye Bye Scale, on to happier times