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Sabotage... with love.

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Tuesday, June 11, 2013

I've started my diet several weeks ago, and have recently 're-joined' SparkPeople to help keep track of my progress. I've also wanted to get some support for this difficult goal. I'm facing the difficult challenge of altering my lifestyle to achieve, not just weight loss, but a healthier lifestyle all around. One that involves activities, instead of shopping. Or finding an exercise buddy, instead of watching tv. All of this is challenging; but the greatest challenge I have is my own habits (and my friend/family habits).

I socialize at meals. ALL THE TIME.

And my family is the worst when it comes to picking places to eat, or meals to eat. Which puts me in a difficult position.

My personality is one that is very laid back, non-confrontational, and not very high maintenance. As such, I tend to be the person who goes with the flow... and doesn't stress of specifics. Therefore, I'm the one who is caving in and going to the fast food places because that's where everyone else goes.

I've started to declare that this has to change, and no one has really respected that declaration. So this past weekend, when I was driving my mother around for her weekend errands, she wanted to go to Burger King. And I said NO. I made her choose something healthier.

And that was when we ran into the problem. Where - exactly - could we get healthier foods?

I haven't really put much of a thought into it. So I couldn't come up with anything better than the local WAWA. I thought at the least there was a better selection of food.

She didn't want to go there, but she begrudgingly agreed. Then, instead of choosing a healthy wrap, salad, etc. She opted for the hot dogs.

And then guess what? So did I. I was really hungry, I had been out all day for hours with nothing more than a yogurt early in the morning. So I grabbed a hot dog (no cheese, no bacon!), and slapped on some relish and mustard. Then I grabbed a fruit and cheese platter so that I could introduce SOME semblance of freshness into the meal and called it lunch.

It was better than Burger King. But I have to come up with a solid game-plan for when I'm on the 'road' and unable to grab items from my own kitchen. And when the snack bar in the purse isn't enough.

UPDATE: Karmakitty66 brought up an excellent point. She mentioned that I'm on the diet, not my mother. And in all fairness, her counter-point is spot on. I can't make everyone join me in my dietary goals, and I have to solve how I'm going to handle this going forward. All true.

But it made me realize that my blog entry lacked the whole 'other side' of the story. My mother is also on a diet. Or says she is. I can't tell. She eats less; but less of the worst food choices around. So on that particular day when I denied her Burger King... it was in support of BOTH of us trying to find healthier alternatives. Which failed. haha. But I liked KarmaKitty66's perspective and fairness and wanted to acknowledge that I wasn't just forcing my diet onto everyone around me! Thanks karmakitty66. :)
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DSCROW 6/16/2013 7:02AM

    I don't know if this helps but I have a small cooler that I put a water, a no calorie water and yogurt/string cheese/nut/fruit whatever I have snack in and it goes with me. If mom or friend were going I'd add a water for them. Its my snack. That way I can order from a menu and supplement with what I brought if need.

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UBERCOMMUTER 6/15/2013 1:20PM

    I worked at BK about oh mphhhsh years ago (ok, when it was still "Have it Your Way") and we'd get all kinds of requests, but the cash register was set up for it. We'd get requests for Whoppers, double whoppers, no bun, and so forth (yes, you can order sandwiches with no bun, but it can get messy). Okie Nana might want to see if a Double Whopper Jr. might be cheaper than buying 2 Jr's and combining. I like the Grilled chicken salads at McD's these days, but they seem a bit on the salty side. You don't have to be told to stay away from deep fried stuff, but just to underline, most of the breaded meat (don't know about nuggets) is fried TWICE, fried once then stored in a warmer for up to a set amount of time (when it's SUPPOSED to get thrown away) and then fried again just before it goes on a bun. Some of the stuff is really well prepared, and other stuff I'll never eat again...

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PENOWOK 6/15/2013 9:59AM

    Sounds as though you have a challenge ahead of you. It helps to pre-determine a plan. It might be a good idea for you to sit down and make a list of the fast food places your family members like to go, look up the menus online and make a plan for what you will order when and if you go there. Even the Burger King has a few choices and I recently read that many times there is an unpublished menu of choices in a variety of places if you ask about it. For example, red Lobster has a lite menu but you have to know where to find it.

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ROXYCARIN 6/15/2013 4:27AM

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MAJONES1225 6/15/2013 1:02AM

    emoticon emoticon and welcome back

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MISSBOOBOOKITTY 6/14/2013 11:03PM

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JUSGETTENBY42 6/14/2013 10:20PM

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TWAYGOH 6/14/2013 8:26PM

    Definitely agree with the comments saying do a bit of research ahead of time :-) I like the salads they have at Burger King personally. Most fast food places have some version of a salad, or a wrap, though gotta be careful there, as wraps are often not as healthy as you might think.

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GWENHAVEN 6/14/2013 5:31PM

    I know you say you're non confrontational, and hurrah for you for saying No to your Mother! But here's a point... is it really fair for you to always demand others choose where to go? How about you do a little research, figure out some places that have something on the menu you can order, and start suggesting places?
So instead of saying, "No, I can't eat there, choose somewhere else.", which can be frustrating for the person on the other end (what if you keep saying no to everything they suggest), make some suggestions yourself. Let them choose from a couple different places that YOU suggest.
I have dietary restrictions too (no gluten), and have had to start making some choices when out and about with family/friends, and voicing some good suggestions to them without making it about my diet/restrictions.
So figure out the places around you that have food you can eat, and start speaking up more often! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/14/2013 5:32:36 PM

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LIVELYGIRL2 6/14/2013 1:37PM

  This is hard, when people push things on you. Or not too much available, ect.

My sis has some good snacks in her car or purse. This helps because if your starving... hours without food. Some at a bit every few hours.

I liked all these ideas. You can modify foods at times. Like put yogurt or veggies on as baked potato. You can ask for bar-b-q sauce or mustard to go on a sandwich. You can have iced tea with your own stevia, or use less honey or sugar. Just enough to make it no taste bitter.

It just takes planning.

You did the most important part. Taking steps in the right direction. emoticon

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NEWTEXDEBBIE 6/14/2013 10:06AM

    Just a thought......

Maybe if you look up all the fast food places in your town that you usually frequent you can make a list of what to eat at each place and carry that paper in your wallet or purse all the time. That way the guess work is out of the way and your good to go...... I think I need to do that myself today! emoticon Good Luck!
Debbie

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STONECOT 6/14/2013 8:37AM

    Perhaps you should look at it obliquely. Remember those baby steps we're always banging on about on here? Perhaps, for your Mum, the first baby step is to eat less of the foods she likes, the next step might be to add some healthier choices some of the time, not all of the time. Maybe you could use this as past of your strategy too. Especially if you're put in a position where it's difficult to go for a better choice, eat part of the portion, not all.

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DABLUECAT 6/14/2013 7:59AM

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NEWTINK 6/14/2013 7:48AM

    I hope it gets better for you soon hang in there emoticon

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FIFIFRIZZLE 6/14/2013 3:27AM

    You could start a new trend of saying, you know what, come round to mine and I,ll cook! Or, what about going to a proper restaurant or cafe and having fresh seasonal food prepared by a chef?
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REALLYRETIRED 6/14/2013 1:15AM

    Lots of "food for thought" so to speak. I really got a lot out of not only the blogger but all of the previous comments from others. This shows how important SP is. This is waay more than a healthy way to eat for the rest of our lives. The support from fellow sparkers really plays an important part in our individual successes. I was "into" SP several years ago but didn't take the time to connect with fellow sparkers. I think that is the reason why I eventually drifted away. Well, I am back and WILL stay connected with others involved in this great program. We are so lucky to have picked up on this uniques program. So many people are spending thousands of dollars and they still aren't getting all that is available to each of us. Have a great rest of the week everyone! emoticon

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ROXYCARIN 6/14/2013 12:25AM

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MARYJEANSL 6/14/2013 12:12AM

  I know exactly what you mean about how hard it is to find reasonably healthy, inexpensive food choices while out and about. I have been so busy and stressed lately that I never have time nor energy to cook at home, and as a result I have been doing something I just hate to do - living on fast food. If you have time and money for better restaurants, you can usually find something, but otherwise, the pickings are slim. Sigh.

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CM_GARDNER78 6/13/2013 11:50PM

    I know what you mean! It's hard to make the choice of the "better of two evils". I have found that there are pretty decent options at most fast food restaurants. Like BK has side salads, and they have introduced grilled chicken wraps like what McDonald's has. At McD I'll get the apple slices (2 bags) and a snack wrap. A side salad. Usually there are things. I agree with what others say and look them up ahead of time to make a plan - so you have it in your back pocket for next time!! GOOD JOB!!

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RUNNINGYOGINIRE 6/13/2013 10:55PM

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RENATA144 6/13/2013 8:52PM

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ASAPDREEZY 6/13/2013 8:42PM

    I too have the problem of being a social eater. There have been multiple times that I've ordered food not because I was hungry, but because everyone else had ordered food.
It's nice to see that I'm not so alone in having this unhealthy problem.
Great blog post!

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OKIE_NANA 6/13/2013 7:24PM

    Actually, I eat at Burger King often. If I'm really hungry, I buy 2 Whopper Jrs, skip the mayo, add extra onion then stack the insides and discard at least half the bread. I get twice the veggies of a regular Whopper at a lower price. To drink, try any of the non-caloric options they now have.

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BLPRETTYGIRL1 6/13/2013 6:57PM

    Only you have control on what you eat. I agree you wish that others would eat better. Let them eat where they like but you also can do takeout at a restaurant that is more to your liking. They may end up liking yours better. They will notice on how much better you feel and look. Keep it up. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LISA_FRAME 6/13/2013 6:21PM

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DEEGIRL50 6/13/2013 6:20PM

    After reading all the helpful answers... I think it comes down to making better choices when eating out. We can still go out if we keep the calorie and fat counts in mind. Just like they say not to go grocery shopping on an empty stomach, we should eat sooner so we're ready for the battle when it comes time to order.

Thank you for posting a blog about a problem many of us face. It was very helpful.
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LORIVIOLA 6/13/2013 6:19PM

    it is difficult. especially when they "push back"
good luck and keep up the good work!

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JIBBIE49 6/13/2013 6:11PM

    great to see your blog in the spark mail. emoticon

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HANSBRINK 6/13/2013 6:01PM

  There's a Sparkpeople blog or article about healthy options at fast food restaurants. It might give you some ideas when the family goes the fast food route.

I admit that its difficult to be eating different from everyone else. My mother was the same way. Trying to eat healthy and stick to a diet when the family wanted food that wasn't so healthy. Good luck!

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KNYAGENYA 6/13/2013 4:28PM

    I have become the queen of salads. There is always a salad somewhere. This way I'm not forcing my eating habits on others.

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STARBLACK 6/13/2013 3:33PM

  I don't know if anyone has mentioned, but if you like grilled chicken the tendergrill chicken at BK is really good. I get it without mayo or cheese and add mustard and pickles, then have apple "fries" as a side. Yum! I know exactly how you feel about the family eating thing, my family is the same way. Good luck to you! Also, I don't know if you have any Panera's around, but they have a "hidden menu" on their website in the nutritional info section...really good, lowfat options. These things aren't on the normal menu, but if you just tell the workers you're ordering from the hidden menu they'll know what you're talking about.

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LINDA! 6/13/2013 3:18PM

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JENNIK2 6/13/2013 2:17PM

    A grilled chicken sandwich (- Mayo) is always a good choice at a fast food place.

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SHOAPIE 6/13/2013 12:51PM

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WORKNPROGRESS49 6/13/2013 12:18PM

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ROXYCARIN 6/13/2013 11:32AM

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MBEHNKEN 6/13/2013 11:23AM

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FARIS71 6/13/2013 10:55AM

    Maybe do a little research into some of the more common places you tend to end up and see what are truly healthier options there. It's usually not what I think it will be. Plain hamburger kids meal is usually what work best for me. Keep moving forward - progress, not perfection.

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CARPROTH 6/13/2013 10:55AM

    While I wouldn't exactly call it 'health food', Burger King, along with most fast food chains, has added less lethal items to their menu. It might be worthwhile to research fast food menu nutritional info online, and next time you're out with Mom and she really wants BK, take her there and show her by example its possible to make healthier (and smarter) choices than whopper with fries.

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TINY67 6/13/2013 10:51AM

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 6/13/2013 10:47AM

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HFAYE81 6/13/2013 10:34AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon good try, a little healthiness is better than none.

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SUSIEMT 6/13/2013 10:29AM

    Well, you have a host of articles right here on spark that will make some wonderful suggestions as to what to do in this instance. When you have the chance look up some of the articles that refer to restaurants or fast foods in your area. If any of them have websites with nutrition go there and write out a plan for each one in a notebook that you can keep handy in your purse. And always remember subway!
Good luck and good blog!

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THATWIFE1 6/13/2013 10:26AM

  Knowledge is power-I would research restaurants in your area & what healthy choices they offer. Next time ur out & about w/ mom u can ask her would u like to eat at A or B ? Maybe giving her a choice will help & she doesn't need to know u kind of set her up. Keep strong-it does get easier trust me, it's like a muscle-practice makes u stronger.

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DELLMEL 6/13/2013 10:08AM

  Glad you made a good choice. Because I am a fan of Burger King myself. So when I get that moment for BK I be like what can I do to get this moment away. Proud of you.

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IMAGINE46 6/13/2013 10:01AM

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KATIEM929 6/13/2013 10:00AM

    Maybe explain that you're trying to get healthy for the long haul and their support is important to you. Have some alternatives ready for when you're out and about that you can choose healthier foods and whoever you are with can find something they like, too. You'll find something that works for you!
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SORLANDO21 6/13/2013 10:00AM

    many times I Google restaurants (the name followed by "nutritional information" and most times I get what I am lookinf for (unless its a local place with only 1of its kind-which in that case I use a different restaurant with comprable food) Anyhoo- although BK is not a healthy choice, and EVERYTHING is high in sodium espicially, there are decent choices. Start to look up these places and find something you will enjoy that has lower fat/cal. My boyfriend and i if we end up at Wendys, I get grilled chicken sandwich w/chz and he gets 2 grill chicken wrappers. There is also a really yummy fruit/yogurt parfait at BK or one of those places. Stay strong!

~Or you can pack healthy snacks and/or sandwich if you know you are going to be out thru lunch

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KATS122 6/13/2013 9:37AM

    You took a stand. While it may not have been "perfect" you diligently tried to make a better choice......and that is a positive thing. Way to go. emoticon

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SHANNONY84 6/13/2013 9:18AM

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