I guess I am just airing many of the thoughts swimming around in my head as a way to clear my mind. In short, my life is one ultra colossal conglomerate of disorganized confuzzlement.
Wow, that's a mouthful.
One thing that has stood out since my last conversation with my mentor and friend ACTIVE_AT_60, was the understanding that the greatest tool in the athletes tool box is a day planner. The fine art of balance between work, training, personal goals, and family. Currently, I am one of the most annoyingly crazy procrastinators on the planet and the scary part is that I never used to be that way.
Before starting at the mine, I used to be in (of all things) Information Systems, specifically computer and laser printer repair, computer networking, and server administration. Now I am very much a blue collar miner...dont ask... long story. I used to be married to a Daytimer, was OCD about goal setting and then methodically outlining how to get there and was extremely organized. I had to be, my career demanded it. Not so any more. i work shift work so I just got used to drifting from day to day doing what ever i felt like and mostly lacking structure. I mean why bother planning anything? The mine owns me and my schedule, I just live life in between the commercials right?
Well, not exactly.
I have really let myself get sloppy and it has been one of my biggest frustrations in my life is the lack of structure and time oriented discipline. As my race deadline approaches, my sense of urgency as well as the mental feeling of being overwhelmed has finally given birth to a resurgence in time management and the big payoff is the sense of control that I used to enjoy. I have a ways to go in disciplining myself but I will say that it is kinda amazing that I have actually managed to make some pretty big advancements in spite of my shiznit approach to managing myself.
One of the things I have been doing alot of lately is looking at life past the 70.3. There is a real sense of wanting to move forward with my life. Yes I want to savor the moment of crossing the finish line of this epic event but there is also a STRONG sense of urgency that cannot wait until all of this is over so I can totally focus on the most important health goal I have. That is to finish what I started and get my Personal Trainers certification and create the body I want. I want to get to goal weight and get on with my life. The day is coming where I will want to train for the most epic event of all, a full 140.6 mile triathlon be it an official Ironman event or another such as the Revolution3 series although the thought of Mike Reilly calling me out... "Robert, YOU...ARE....AN IRONMAN" has certainly made the hair on the back of my neck stand up from time to time....
None of that will happen if I do not get to goal...ever. Even if life does not allow me to go that route, I still want to finish this. I dont lose weight while racing, I lose weight when I am carefully eating, methodically focused, and not distracted. Racing or just going the distance does not allow for big caloric deficits and still have the energy needed to hammer out the mileage I need to in order to succeed.
In short, I want more than anything to get back to training for weight loss and not performance... big difference.
I have very little doubt i will do well in the race but the feeling is growing of wanting to bag racing after this event is over with and just dedicate myself to finishing this and build the body that I want. A body that has the potential to train for a 140.6. I am feeling like another 40 pounds will do the trick. By that point I would have lost a person (over 155 lbs total loss) but still be technically overweight but I dont care. 230 would be pretty epic and would be light enough for a clydesdale like me to have a shot at finishing an Iron distance event. I'm looking forward to starting the next phase.
Thats not to say I wont run a half marathon or two to test my fitness or have some fun, but there is a difference between that and the grind of training and the build up needed to simply finish something on a much grander scale.
ok I'm done rambling... I cleared my mind.
Now time to hop on the bike and then the treadmill..... I still have to get ready..... August 11th is not that far away....6 full weeks of training until I start tapering.... then the madness begins.