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    BELLES74   7,704
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The Grass is always Greener

Monday, June 10, 2013

Today I'm wondering why I don't even seem to be happy. From an observer's point of view, I am always smiling and laughing. I have a nice house, a good husband, a good looking son. I have a good paying job. I have lots of friends, but on the inside, well I have a horrible litany going on. If I was skinnier I'd be happier. If I was earning more money, I'd be happier. If I didn't have to work I'd be happier.

I do jump from job to job. The longest I have been in any job is just under three years which ended 2011. I didn't leave that job, the company closed down. If it hadn't have closed down, I'd still be there.

Ever since, I've been trying to find a place like it. While rationally I know that no two places are ever the same, I still want what I lost. Last year I did some temp roles. Each of them no more than 2 - 3 months. I enjoyed it but I hated the insecurity of when one job ended having to go find another one.

Where I am now, well like all jobs I started it with high hopes. I felt a bit pressured into this role as there was another possible option but the recruiter wouldn't let me have the extra time I wanted to decide between the two.

Everyone at this job has been working together for at least eight years. They are set in their ways. I was asked to streamline things and write procedures then implement them. I did this but when it came time to implement them,, the boss backed down. He continues to let things that are illegal to continue.

I am isolated because of trying to implement the changes he asked for but then wont implement. I cant talk to any of my co workers because everything I say gets twisted around. I don't talk to anyone about anything. Its kind of lonely and depressing

I have started keeping records of all the things I am being asked to do that I know are wrong. Records of all the times that I have been bullied.

I'm stuck here for at least two years otherwise, I wont be able to get another full time role. Recruiters don't want people who jump from job to job.

I don't know whats wrong with me.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BELLES74 6/11/2013 5:26PM

    HI and thanks for responding. I kind of meant that the litany is what is holding me back. Its that horrible little voice that I'm trying to replace with good thoughts just at the moment the bad thoughts are winning.

Hugs

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PHEBESS 6/11/2013 2:57AM

    I agree with the previous poster - you can't count on thinness or money to bring you happiness.

But your job situation is enough to make anyone miserable.

Can you schedule a meeting with the boss (or if there is a board, maybe include them) and explain that you did as asked, developed changes to be implemented, but are unsure why they are not being implemented - as well as point out some of the illegal actions/practices, and why continuing to do these things could lead the business into major problems? Do you think that might help change the situation?

Otherwise, it may be time to move on. You could tell a recruiter that you were hired to assess the company and recommend changes, you did that, you fulfilled the role, and there was no further position for you at the company. (Which is mostly true.)

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JOHGLO2011 6/10/2013 6:29PM

    Being more slim and having more money don't necessarily make a person happy. Just ask the rich and famous! We have to choose happiness, beginning with ourselves. :) Having said that though, your boss is really letting you down. :( I guess you must be counting the days until you can leave.

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