I love not having to park my car right at the end of the parking lot. I could never park right next to another vehicle and still open my door wide enough to get out without pushing into the vehicle next to me.
I love being able to sleep flat on my back without feeling as if I am being smothered by fat.
I love fitting right into my car's bucket seats without spilling over the sides.
I love the extra space on my side of the bed.
I love the new planes and contours on my face.
I love being able to see and feel my shoulder and collar bones.
I love how easy it is to get up and move around.
That has to be my favourite thing.
What I don't love quite as much is the sudden competitive spirit that has 'fallen on' a couple of my female friends and female members of my family. What is this pecking order thing?! This order of BMI importance? It is as if, now that I am not the fattest anymore, they are scared of getting my former position? And so eager to 'keep me in my place.'
Just live your lives, People. Don't view everything relative to everybody else. Live according to your own yard stick and choices and be happy for others, helping them on their journey if you can. Please?
Maybe there is something wrong with me, but I do not understand the machinations of a competitive mind. I understand striving for a goal, doing your very best to reach it as quickly as you can. For you.
But I do not understand the emotional triggers with regards to others on the same journey and their position with regards to your goal.
It bores and tires me.
I am having a hard time dealing with the sudden attention from men. If you are as big as a bus you can be friendly to any male person, and talk to everybody without managing and being aware of flirty stuff, and being careful that what you say is not taken the wrong way.
Being obese offers a lot of freedom in that regard. Guys treat you as a person, or another guy, or a sister, not a person of interest.
(I love being a person of interest only to my DH, but he enjoys having a wife that others are interested in.)
After RNY these changes are so sudden that it becomes a bit of a roller coaster ride.
But the very Best Thing is not feeling guilty about my gluttony anymore.
I am free of that sin.
My biggest idol has fallen, praise the Lord Jesus!