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    LOVINGAFRICA   9,391
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What I love about losing 29kg


Sunday, June 09, 2013

I love not having to park my car right at the end of the parking lot. I could never park right next to another vehicle and still open my door wide enough to get out without pushing into the vehicle next to me.
I love being able to sleep flat on my back without feeling as if I am being smothered by fat.
I love fitting right into my car's bucket seats without spilling over the sides.
I love the extra space on my side of the bed.
I love the new planes and contours on my face.
I love being able to see and feel my shoulder and collar bones.
I love how easy it is to get up and move around.
That has to be my favourite thing.
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What I don't love quite as much is the sudden competitive spirit that has 'fallen on' a couple of my female friends and female members of my family. What is this pecking order thing?! This order of BMI importance? It is as if, now that I am not the fattest anymore, they are scared of getting my former position? And so eager to 'keep me in my place.'
Just live your lives, People. Don't view everything relative to everybody else. Live according to your own yard stick and choices and be happy for others, helping them on their journey if you can. Please?
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Maybe there is something wrong with me, but I do not understand the machinations of a competitive mind. I understand striving for a goal, doing your very best to reach it as quickly as you can. For you.
But I do not understand the emotional triggers with regards to others on the same journey and their position with regards to your goal.
It bores and tires me.
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I am having a hard time dealing with the sudden attention from men. If you are as big as a bus you can be friendly to any male person, and talk to everybody without managing and being aware of flirty stuff, and being careful that what you say is not taken the wrong way.
Being obese offers a lot of freedom in that regard. Guys treat you as a person, or another guy, or a sister, not a person of interest.
(I love being a person of interest only to my DH, but he enjoys having a wife that others are interested in.)
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Go Figure?

After RNY these changes are so sudden that it becomes a bit of a roller coaster ride.

But the very Best Thing is not feeling guilty about my gluttony anymore.
I am free of that sin.
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My biggest idol has fallen, praise the Lord Jesus!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIANITAH 6/15/2013 1:33PM

    I am so happy for you my friend!! It is wonderful that you are feeling all of these things again.

I agree, the male attention sometimes throws me for a big loop and I'm single. I was used to being invisible going out and now I'm not.

Fortunately the women in my family have been very supportive. There has been weirdness among a few friends though. That is why we have each other!

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NYARAMULA 6/14/2013 3:41AM

    I really enjoyed this blog because I can so relate. It's amazing how even skinny people prefer to have a fat friend. Your skinny friend will never encourage you to lose weight, but once you start to lose the weight, they will be quick to inform you when it is 'enough'. I have been dealing with people forcing their opinions about my weight loss on me for some time now. It used to offend/annoy me initially but not any more. I simply tell myself that I have been able to do what they wish they could do but are unable to do and it makes them uncomfortable.

I am glad you are already reaping the benefits of weight loss. I am sure you also feel healthier and more alive. You have done this, own it and be proud of what you have done.

God bless you.

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FLPALM 6/12/2013 12:50PM

    I truly enjoyed reading your BLOG! Boy, do I understand EXACTLY what you are saying! Example, the competitive/some times awkward moments with family and friends. Even though, I have worked "my program" for TWO YEARS, with minor changes, tweaking whenever possible, and "KEEPING THE WEIGHT OFF" I can see it in their actions, and words, of bitterness! Just waiting for the AHA Moment, to SEE if I GAIN BACK ANY WEIGHTS!

Then Example Number Two! Seeing, and knowing that men are actually flirting with me, and I happen to be nearly 63 years old, and still need to continue on my healthy weight loss! Go figure! I am married, love my hubby dearly, and not a flirt; but watching people and their actions makes me think why they do it.

Keep up your great work! I'll be watching you....but in a GREAT WAY! Like looking out for my SPF, and watching her travel this wonderful journey!

Hugs,

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BARCONIUS 6/10/2013 9:12AM

    I don't think your friends' issue is so much competitiveness as it is their own self-image. In a lot of areas, people justify their own mediocrity by comparing themselves to someone doing less well. "Maybe I drink a bit much, but at least I don't drink as much as John." Same with weight. "I may be heavy, but at least I'm thinner than Susan". If they were using you as the standard, and you quickly lose a significant amount of weight, they are suddenly not OK anymore. Really, it's probably not about you, at all. But you raised the bar, and now they have to face a reality about themselves they probably don't want to face. They'll either work to lose weight, or find a new lowest-common-denominator that allows them to stay the same.

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DSCROW 6/9/2013 3:17PM

    So far at age 54 my compliments from men have been non sexual and a joy of support. I lost weight when I was younger (prior to my car accident in 2004) and dealt with sexualized compliments and attention. I did feel less good about myself because of it. I have always been friendly and my husband says men just look at that differently because they are men. god bless him but he's right. I was not doing anything to cause it and he just told me to tell him if any males acted to friendly and he'd help. When we were young he told a "friend" Hey, keep your hands to yourself, I never had problems again.

The family has been supportive. The younger generation is inviting me to walk and sign up for my first 5k in August. my friends have all been supportive so far. And my church family great. Several of them have had surgery or are going to. We are swapping clothes to one another as we loose. I have to say I have not lost so much that I'm showing anyone up either so we shall see.

I guess it becomes clear who we should surround ourselves with and who we should not. people will accuse us of changing and that may be true, but we have to remember they also have changed the way they see us, that may have nothing to do with what we have done but with their own baggage.

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CORTNEY-LEE 6/9/2013 2:26PM

    I don't understand the competitive thing either... I think some people are just wired that way while others are not.

You pointed out a lot of great things about losing weight... you know what my fave was? It was a heck of a lot easier to shave my legs! I could fit comfortably in the bathtub!

the male attention thing... I am not sure how I feel about it yet... let me get back to ya! LOL

I love that you are doing so well. I am so proud of you for all you are accomplishing.

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MINDYHGP 6/9/2013 12:27PM

    You are doing so great! I love your list of loves!!! I'm starting to notice changes, I might have to make a list too! Great idea! I'm stealing it! lol
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CELEST 6/9/2013 7:40AM

    Wow 29kgs...isn't that just the greatest?! There will always be jealous people, competitive people etc. Good thing you're doing this for you and not letting all the petty stuff get in the way. emoticon

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GLUECIPHER 6/9/2013 6:48AM

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STEVEN2GO2 6/9/2013 4:52AM

    It is wierd the double edge sword of weight loss! Yes YOU feel better about yourself, but not everyone is completetly happy with the change!

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CLARISSABOND 6/9/2013 4:37AM

    Own your beauty and your power. You did it! You are a woman worthy of attention. Your DH has always known this. He's just proud because others now openly envy him!

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