I don't want to admit this but...
Saturday, June 08, 2013
...I ended up bingeing. But it was way later than the first urge I wrote about. Argh!!! I'm really proud of myself for using all my skills and successfully getting past the first urge with the help of my friend, but later when I came home after studying I wasn't able to identify the urge fast enough or I just wasn't being mindful and before I knew it I was bingeing.
I have a feeling it was because I was getting upset and sad over not being able to run. This morning I didn't feel well so I didn't run. Part of me thought it was ok anyway, because I knew my hip/knee would hurt, so in not running I avoided the fact that there is something still wrong with my leg being thrown in my face. Another part of me just started to get really sad because I miss it. I miss the long adventures, I miss the fun of races. A really big race that several of my friends are in is going on this weekend and I totally got sucked in reading all their posts and seeing photos of the event going on...It was during that time that I started eating (I wasn't even hungry, just emotional eating that I didn't notice) and that turned into a binge. Sigh.
Well, ok, as I told another Spark Friend, I have to now move on and do the next right thing.
+ Even though I had an instance where messed up today, I also had an instance where I succeeded. I managed to notice that first urge, used my skills, and definitely managed to overcome the urge without using behaviors.
+ I did get some studying done at the tea shop (if I had given in to my earlier urge, I probably would not have gotten anything done), and got to catch up with my friend a bit.
+ I went to yoga this morning. Actually it was right after I decided not to run at 5am that I started feeling sad and kind of vulnerable. I went to yoga to counter that and it did help.
+ My new "toy" arrived - an Omron body composition scale. I do kind of love data. Never mind that my weight fluctuated from a high of 133 to a low of 126 in one day, haha! It's still fun to play with! I have no idea how accurate it is (I know things like how hydrated you are can make a big difference), but as long as I see a general downward trend in body fat I would be happy.