Sigh, I know I'm behind. I just finished watching the last four episodes of Merlin. Even though I knew that Arthur had to die in order to stay true to the legend, I still was sad
anyway. Its been on for five years. I had gotten used to it. Its been on for five years.
Five years ago I was 30. I was slimmer.
I hadn't had my kidney infection yet. I was more hopeful then than I am now. I am working on taking back my power
, taking back my own hope. These five years have been hard,
harder than I expected. I need to lose 90
pounds now, not just 45. What a world of difference that is. I am working now. I am also resigned to the fact that I must study assiduously all the time, its just a part of life. I used to rail against that fact, feeling gyped by my educational institutions. We used to have this (now out moded) idea that if you had your education
you could go to work. Well, the world has changed and now you just need to study all the time.
I haven't been doing everything I could to stay slim. After I put on weight with each course of antibiotics I got mad about it and wouldn't do it. I felt betrayed by my doctors and my own body. I wasn't counting calories, eating South Beach style, working out before breakfast, or doing yoga at night. I felt terrible both inside and out. Learning to accept what we must do is the first step towards enlightenment (get it? its a joke, en light en ment'? funny
Being mad about what is does not get us anywhere, at least not anywhere good.
Today is my 5th workout this week. Rather remarkable considering that its ttotm
week. I have done meditations
everyday this week. Hopefully it will start to pay off. Maybe it already has. I have been working on setting boundaries and letting procrastination go.
Here is next week's tentative rotation:
; Stretch Max w/band; Shiva Yoga 20 min.
Tuesday: Cathe Step
; Lunar Yoga
+ MMA Box
Saturday: Jillian Ripped in 30; Tummy Trimmer boot camp; Dancer's Solution 10 min. 'Dance off Belly Fat'; Yoga Class with Gary Bromley (chill, relax time.)
Daily schedule: 5 am: awake, 5:30 am workout
6:30 am shower, get ready for work, make lunch.
7 am: drive
to work/ drink green
smoothie in the car.
8 am- 3 pm work work work; eat homemade lunch; work some more.
3 pm: drive home
4 pm: yoga (before dinner)
5 pm: Eats
6 pm Rest/ studies
Goals this week:
1. Eat on plan: South Beach style
2. Count calories
3. Weigh in every other day starting Tuesday.
4. Exercise on plan.