Trying not to think of the big number !
Saturday, June 08, 2013
I need to lose 60kgs but all day today I was trying to say to myself 5 kgs at a time! But then I straight away remember nope it's 60kgs stop kidding yourself!
However, I realized that if I don't start anywhere it will stay 60kgs. I will look back and say "if I started in June I would've been so happy now" and all the other guilt thoughts! I can't wait for hubby to be proud of me! I can't wait for my kids to show their mum off to their school friends. Many parents meetings have been missed coz I'm so ashamed of myself. My friends!!! I shouldn't even go there. I havnt been to any occasions whatsoever and have lost every friend I had. My kids miss out on stuff coz I don't want to go from embarrassment. I want to take my third child kindy and not be the only fat mum there! Wow I'm becoming to realize that I really was just only existing and trying to even make myself invisible in any way possible. I've also got a 9 yr old daughter that Needs a great role model esp with body image. My 6 yr old son says " mummy you have to lose weight so you can live longer for us" he has even said it at restaurants :-( I guess this blog is about why I need to reach my goal as well 👍