Saturday, June 08, 2013
That's a good question.
I'm about to graduate, and I'm stuck in a city I dislike. I had formerly been living in a college town where I had the will power, independence, and LOVE to do good things for myself. Sure, I binged sometimes - this is a struggle I have - and of course I would go some weeks with a few too many days of not working out. But by and large, I was making healthy choices in a healthy environment.
I have a month before I finish my last class for college, and I'm stuck in a place where there is so much negative energy, insecurity, inability to change, and stagnation. I need help. I need the strength of possibility - hope - and I need positive reinforcement.
I have a temporary full time job right now, which will make it even harder to get my fitness goals in line.
I also live with someone very close to me, a friend and a family member, and I find that her attitudes and choices really constrain my own.
For instance, take tonight. And yesterday. Even though she BOUGHT me a month membership to a gym nearby, cause she knew that it was one of my favorite things to do in college, she swore we were going to work out both yesterday and today, right after work.
Does she do it? No.
So I'm stuck waiting around ... meanwhile .... I've been binging the past couple of days. I think it's out of a sense of helplessness, anxiety, and just hopelessness.
The bottom line is that I have to be the change. I have to go out and do what I want. Claim it. Take it. Work out by myself, without waiting around for someone else.
I don't know why it's so hard.
I really hope that my involvement on this site can help.