Friday, June 07, 2013
Went to the doctor for checkup yesterday. I did not want to hear that we have to start being aggressive about my weight and blood pressure. Have spent so long avoiding medication but now I have to take a little pill every day to get blood pressure under control. I have to evaluate everything that I have been doing so far. I have been exercising sometimes, mostly starting and stopping and I have no control over what I eat. I know that I need to moderate some foods but I can't stop. Just keep eating and eating even when I don't enjoy it anymore.
But I can't get the sound of my voice telling the doctor that my dad died of a heart attack after having several attacks and he was only 16 years older than I am now. I still get so mad at my dad for waiting until he started having problems to make some changes, but I don't want my kids to feel the same way about me.
Change is hard for me but I have to do things differently. What I was doing is not working, I need to learn how to reach out for help and also how to help myself. This is going to be the start of a long journey but I hope to reach the end wise, strong and more comfortable with the person I become.