Friday, June 07, 2013
I've decided to keep this short and sweet. Not really any sense delving into every single detail... it would just mean reliving a lot of unpleasantness and a super long blog.
First... Mike and I had a bit of a falling out, things have smoothed over but the friendship seems a little different now. I sort of get the sense that I'm bothering him, or that he doesn't quite feel the same attachment that he did prior to the initial argument. I'm not sure what will become of us as friends at this point, he just seems distant and even a little rude and sarcastic. He used to be extremely sweet, and I haven't seen that in a while. I don't know, maybe this is just a side of his personality I hadn't had the chance to experience before. I'm willing to take good with the bad but at the same time, I think I'm starting to realize it's best not to get my hopes up about him right now.
Secondly and much more importantly... my visit to NH was, in short, terrible. Joe ended up threatening me with a rifle as well as physically assaulting Spencer and I when I tried to leave the house (pulling at Spencer to try to get him away from me, etc.). Thankfully friends of mine were there trying to load a desk into a car (my parents and sister had left for lunch against my wishes) and they were able to phone the police. Three state troopers and four hours later we finally left my old home with Joe having been arrested and taken to jail and me being issued a temporary order of protection. This happened Sunday. Monday morning I had to go to court and apply for an extended order of protection and also heard Joe's arraignment- he is being held on several charges with a 5,000 cash bail. Everything has been really draining and just mentally... difficult to wrap my head around. I was resolute in my resolve to leave Joe and file for divorce, and I know that the restraining order will, in the end, be beneficial for me and Spencer, but it's hard to sort of accept that the father of my child is in jail and won't be able to see or talk to his child for what will likely be a year if not longer. I have to go back to NH for a final court hearing on June 27th where they will grant me the final order. Joe will likely be there so I'm conflicted and nervous. I didn't want this to happen, but he brought it on himself- just one charge after another because he couldn't manage to stay sober for a day. It's heartbreaking on so many levels.
Anyway. I'm off to bed. Finally have a chance to get some decent sleep.