Friday, June 07, 2013
When I was growing up and in high school I was not concerned with what size my clothes were or what I weighed. I was 5'7" and weighed 120 pounds and that information probably came from a sports physical. When I went to college I was homesick and ate out with friends. I probably turned to pop a lot at this time. People started to tell me I was looking good gaining some weight. I thought those were weird statements. I became more sedentary throughout college. Then I moved in with my boyfriend and started to have the feeling that I had better eat a lot because there may not be seconds. He was very active and could take in a lot of food. I weighed 155-160 when we got married. I worked a stressful job and would eat out nearly everyday at lunch. Then I weighed like 170 when I got pregnant. I have rods in my back because I have scoliosis. My doctor told me she did not want me gaining much weight during my pregnancy because of this. I weighed 200 pounds when I delivered. I was able to loose most of my pregnancy weight. Then I found myself stressed over having to confront a peer's inappropriate behavior. I don't remember turning to food over this, but I found myself gaining about 30 pounds between this situation and miscarrying our second child. I have fought my weight from 212 pounds to 188 pounds. One hundred eighty-eight pounds is the lowest I have been in four years. I know in my mind that I want to look and feel better. However, I cannot seem to stick with it. I gave up pop for almost three months but went back and have not been able to quit since. I trained for a 5K and ran it, but then quit once I had accomplished it. I am not disciplined. I am not sure what motivates me. I am not sure sometimes if I will ever stick with it long enough to lose the weight. I want to get pregnant again, but man if I get pregnant at this weight I am in trouble. Any help you have is greatly appreciated.