Friday, June 07, 2013
Yes, you read that right.
I tell people how much I weigh. Maybe not as shocking now that I've had some weight loss success, but the truth is, I've always told them.
When I was 275 pounds, I told them that. And now looking back on it, I realize my reasons were very strange. It was as if by telling them, "yes, I weigh 275 pounds" and almost always receiving the "Oh, well you don't look it" response, that somehow made it okay.
It was NEVER okay. I can't imagine the stress and strain I put on my body at that weight. I had knee problems when I played soccer and terrible heartburn. Not to mention elevated blood pressure and one blood test that had me at borderline high cholesterol.
I know a lot of people are shy about their weight and could never bring themselves to tell people how much they weigh. And that's absolutely fine. Certainly don't do it for the reason I did. But also realize this.
Your weight is just a number. Just one characteristic of a thousand different things that make you who you are. And while it might correlate to other numbers, your pants size or blood pressure, or other things, your happiness or your physical stamina, it is certainly not the most important part of your life.
I realized that all the other times that I've dieted or attempted to change my life, I became so fixated on my weight because that's all that I thought mattered. When really it's such an infinitesimal part of who I am.
So now when I tell people how much I weigh, it's to tell them so much more than that number. It's to tell them that I hit a very bad low in my life when I was at my highest weight. And that I finally have the passion and drive to change my life into what I want it to be. That number tells them that I'm constantly working to improve myself, and am a goal-setter with dreams to reach.
Telling someone my weight is like telling someone the kind of music I listen to, the type of sports I play or my favorite television show. It's something that makes me who I am, but more importantly is something that I am in complete control of and therefore am proud of.
So here it is.
My name is Jan-Marie, and this morning I weighed 194.8 pounds. 80 pounds down from my highest weight ever, and 12 pounds up from my lowest since joining SparkPeople.
It really is just a number.