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    COCK-ROBIN   83,179
80,000-99,999 SparkPoints

Am I Blue?

Thursday, June 06, 2013

This song,

expresses something that has been uncovered in my weight loss, something that was hidden until now.

Hidden under all that fat. Using food to numb the pain.

So what was hiding under that rock?

The dragon under the bed?

It was something I was denying was there for most of my life.

It was depression.

I should have known, it runs in the family.

That, and bipolar disorder.

My first clue to the fact something was wrong was when I was exercising this year, I suddenly found myself without energy.

Without the crutch of food,

The dragon finally emerged from its hiding place in all its power.

It's amazing how when I lost the weight, the root problem suddenly was uncovered.

and I now know what was hiding under that rock, and can do something about it.

It's going to be rough. Depression is no laughing matter.

I'll need the support of all of you, and above all, hugs.

It's part of the recovery.

Even an Eeyore like me needs one.

So please remember me.

Like in this song by Loreena McKennit.

Even the Bible shows a person in depression and the journey out of that black hole.

In Psalm 42

and Psalm 43

So, as I make this new journey out of this hole that I've always been in,


pretty please?

Then, I will know I'm not alone.

And this song to go by.

Thank you for hearing me out.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
FITFRIT 8/3/2013 12:31AM

    I love the picture posts

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LYNN-LOVESLIFE7 7/15/2013 9:02PM

    emoticon x's a pillion more. Not a number, but you get what I mean. emoticon

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BECKYSFRIEND 7/12/2013 9:51PM

    emoticon emoticon

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FISHER011 6/24/2013 10:23PM

    Awesome blog post! I love it!

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TFMNOW 6/8/2013 12:00AM

    You have perked me up more times than I can count. Hope we can do the same for you. Getting the weight off was a great achievement - know you can overcome this too with the right help from doctors and friends. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ONUTHIN125 6/7/2013 9:32PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon I have a loved one who struggles with depression. emoticon

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    You have a life changing struggle ahead of you, but you can do it. emoticon
We're all here for you. emoticon
And we happen to be pretty good huggers.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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OBIESMOM2 6/7/2013 4:56PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

now I have Hoagy Carmichael singing in my head! Guess it's time to watch "To Have and Have Not"

(I don't know what YouTube links you posted; can't access the site from work)

oh, and I saw a t-shirt a while back that said


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LEWILL1982 6/7/2013 4:10PM

    Hugs! We've got your back.

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LINDAK25 6/7/2013 3:03PM


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3016DEBRA 6/7/2013 1:44PM

  emoticon {{{{{HUGS}}}}

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SEWINGMAMACDS 6/7/2013 10:47AM


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GABY1948 6/7/2013 10:04AM

    GREAT blog...and here's my emoticon

Have a GREAT day!

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NILLAPEPSI 6/7/2013 8:36AM

    I'm sure this was a very, very hard blog for you to write. Thank you for doing it anyway. You may never know how many people you have just helped by telling your story.

I'm sorry that you're going through this. Please promise me that if the doctors recommend that you take meds for awhile that you'll do it. At one time it was such a huge stigma to take anti-depression meds, but no longer. My philosophy is that if the meds make you feel better, take them!!

I too suffered from some depression awhile back & didn't even realize it. I was in a great deal of pain all the time & it took a long time for the doctors to figure out what was going on. I wasn't sleeping either. I felt a little sad, but I didn't realize how bad it was. Turns out I had fibromyalgia. Once I started taking the meds, I felt like a new woman. I was HAPPY!! Happier than I'd been in a long, long while. In fact, I have the nickname "Ms. Sheila Sunshine" at work. I feel so much better. And if I have to take those meds the rest of my life, then so be it. It's a small price to pay (even though they're a bit on the pricey side) to be pain free & super duper happy! emoticon

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Your SparkBuddies are here for you when you need us. Don't forget that. emoticon

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CHRISGORGME 6/7/2013 6:02AM

emoticon emoticon

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    BIG emoticon emoticon
My daughter has depression. So does my sister. One is adopted and it's familial from her family of origin. The other, we're not sure. But, it's wonderful to have folks around who understand and love you just as you are, isn't it?

What a most awesome blog!!! You've said it all so perfectly! emoticon

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DALID414 6/7/2013 1:02AM

    emoticon emoticon

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REGILIEH 6/7/2013 12:05AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CBRINKLEY401 6/6/2013 11:07PM

    We are here for you.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
(the cat misunderstood. She thought you said you wanted a Bug, so she brought you a pretty one).

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NITTINNANA 6/6/2013 10:03PM

    My husband is bipolar. Like you, it took FOREVER to get the right diagnosis and treatment. (He was 57). It won't be an easy row to hoe, but I'm sure your SparkFriends will be with you all the way.
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    Sending you a hug!
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Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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